Are You My Strength or My Weakness?
by jasg
Summary: This story is set shortly after Deacon kisses Rayna in the elevator. Deacon and Rayna will follow a different path. Will they still find their way back to each other?
1. Chapter 1

"We've got a special treat for you coming up next. Here's 'No One Will Ever Love You' sung by country music superstar, Rayna Jaymes and guitarist Deacon Claybourne," the radio DJ's voice sounds from across the hall.

Rayna groans. She hasn't talked to Deacon since the incident in the elevator. This song is the last thing that she needs to listen to right now but for some reason she can't seem to avoid it. Hell, she can't seem to avoid him. She can never avoid him. Something reminds her of him around every corner. Spending so much time with someone for over twenty years leaves its mark on your memory. It leaves its mark on your heart too. She hears her own voice resounding through the room. The memories begin to flood her mind. She feels like she is drowning.

_I know why you're lonely_

_It's time you knew it too_

_No one will ever love you_

_No one will ever love you_

_No one will ever love you_

_Like I do_

Her eyes begin to water but she fights back the tears. She won't allow herself to break down. She tells herself that she is stronger than that. She will not cry. She sees Deacon watching her from across the room. She heads to the elevator, attempting to make her escape. She likes the idea of locking herself in her hotel room for the night. It won't be as hard to avoid him in there.

Her phone vibrates. She looks down to read the message.

_Are you okay?_

She sighs. Apparently, she can't escape from him at all. He insists on chasing her and on finding her. He insists on waiting for her and loving her. She ignores the text message and hurries to her room. As soon as she reaches the quiet penthouse, she falls on the bed. The tears slip out of her eyes. She is unsure of why she is crying. Is she crying for Deacon? Her failed marriage? Her inability to move on?

She hears a knock on the door.

"Go away," she calls.

She already knows who it is on the other side. She doesn't know if she has the strength to face him right now or the strength to resist him.

"I'm worried about you, Ray," Deacon answers.

She doesn't respond.

"Open the door. I just want to talk," he tries.

His voice is gentle and kind. He knows exactly how to convince her. As much as she fears making a mistake, she welcomes the familiarity of his soothing voice. She craves the familiarity. She wants him to be her rock during this time of turmoil. She also dreads letting go. She doesn't want to fall any farther but maybe it is already too late to worry about that.

She reluctantly allows him to enter the room. He is clearly worried about her. He sees that her eyes are red. He pulls her into a hug. He rubs her back softly. She leans into him hesitantly. After a few seconds, she begins to let her guard down. She wraps her arms around him tightly. She is afraid to let go. She is afraid of what might happen if she looks into his eyes and sees his desire for her or his love for her staring her in the face.

"I'm sorry to worry you. I just have a lot going on right now. I'm trying to hold myself together while everything falls apart," she says.

She collects herself. She has always been strong. If she allows even a moment of weakness, she knows what will happen and she is not sure that she will be able to handle the consequences. She has managed to bury her biggest weakness for over 13 years. She has come close to breaking many times, but she has always maintained her strength. She has always hidden her feelings.

"Rayna, I know you. Hell, I've known you for more than twenty years. You can talk to me. I only want to help," Deacon tells her.

She glances up briefly. She senses his sincerity but she knows that he is still hoping that she will choose him. She knows that he is hoping that they can be together now. Hell, she had hoped the same thing at first but then reality had set in. There would be too many consequences.

"I appreciate it, Deacon. Right now, I just need to be alone," she lies.

She wants him to spend the night. She wants to forget everything and enjoy the moment, but she knows that it would be a bad idea.

"Okay, Ray. Call me if you need me. I won't be far away and you know that I'm here for you just like I've always been," Deacon answers.

"Thank you. I'll see you on the plane tomorrow," she responds.

"Good night, Ray. You're the strongest woman I know. If anyone can handle all of this it's you," he insists.

He leaves the room. Now she is alone with her thoughts. She knows that the thought of being with him is just a fantasy. It would never be simple between them. Their past would prevent that. They had dated for eleven years and she had never been able to stop loving him. Even though they have now been apart for thirteen years, the spark is still there. She feels it when she is with him and she knows that he feels it too. It is just so complicated. She is already getting a divorce; she can't make it any worse than it already is by adding insult to injury. Teddy is a cheater but she refuses to stoop to his level. She refuses to drag the girls through an even bigger mess.

A relationship with Deacon would have too many strings attached. They could not be casual together. It had always been all or nothing for them. She isn't ready for that right now. And yet, her heart flutters at the thought. Deacon is the only man who has continuously frequented her thoughts for more than twenty years. Even now, she continues to dwell on the possibilities. She wonders how much longer she can deny herself. Deacon is the only one who can really make this whole situation feel better for her. He has the ability to heal her. Unfortunately, he also has the ability to tear her apart completely. He has never hurt her intentionally and he never would but she fears that his internal demons are always there in the background waiting to strike.

She thinks that a love as strong and complicated as theirs is almost like a fairytale but she can't help but wonder if happy endings even exist.


	2. Chapter 2

Rayna wakes when the sunlight begins to stream in through the window in her room. She doesn't want to get out of bed. She doesn't want to face the day or the struggles that it may hold. She doesn't want to face her divorce or her feelings about Deacon. Instead of getting up, she crawls further under the blankets. She uses them to shield herself from the world. Her phone starts to ring. She ignores it. It rings again. She groans. It rings a third time. She picks it up and looks to see who is calling.

"Hello," Rayna says into the phone in a falsely cheerful tone.

"Rayna, where are you? We are scheduled to be on the plane in an hour. Are you getting ready?" Bucky questions.

"Don't worry. I'll be there," she tells him. "I'm gonna go finish getting ready. See ya soon."

She doesn't wait for his response. She slowly makes her way to the closet and begins to get ready for the day. She knows that she won't be able to avoid Deacon on the plane. They will be in close proximity for the three-hour flight. She knows that it will be hard to keep her emotions in check for such a long period of time. They haven't talked about the kiss that they shared in the elevator and Rayna knows that she won't be able to think about anything else while they are on the plane.

When she enters the bathroom, she is thrown off balance by the sudden images of him in her mind: images of him pushing her against a bathroom door, setting her on a bathroom counter, and pulling her down onto a bathroom floor. Hotel bathrooms remind her of him. This one is obviously a lot nicer than the other bathrooms that she associates with the memory of their past life together, but the sentiment is still there. They remind her of the fact that they could never control their passion. They were desperate for each other. The memories of their love haunt her as she attempts to get ready.

She looks into the mirror and wonders where the time has gone. She knows that everything has changed. Every decision that they have made in the past twenty years has shaped them, for better or for worse.

When she is finished packing, she heads down to the hotel lobby. She sees Deacon sitting in one of the chairs. An excited woman is towering over him, showering him with compliments. Even though she hates to admit it, Rayna always notices when any woman steps within five feet of Deacon. She doesn't try to be a hypocrite but she can never help the twinge of jealousy that rises in the pit of her stomach. She sees him smiling at the woman and talking with her enthusiastically. She walks over to them. Deacon looks surprised to see her.

"I don't mean to interrupt," she starts. The lie slides off of her tongue before she can catch it. "But I think we should be headin out toward the plane, Deacon."

Rayna feels silly for being unable to control her impulse to break up the conversation but she hates the thought of seeing him with another woman. Usually, she can control herself better but her emotions have been going haywire since the kiss. Now that Teddy has asked for a divorce, her usual reasons for staying away from Deacon no longer apply. She can't ever remember feeling so many conflicting emotions at once. If life was simple, she would ignore her misgivings and express her love for Deacon, but life isn't simple. She is worried about the girls, the divorce, her career, and many other things. How would reigniting a romantic relationship with Deacon solve any of her problems? It wouldn't. It would probably only create more problems for her and for her family. Rayna sighs. No matter how much she loves him, she knows that it is not a good time to be starting a relationship.

Deacon smiles apologetically at the woman and tells her goodbye.

"What was that, Ray?" he asks.

"What do you mean?" she questions innocently.

"Nevermind," he answers before walking away to grab his bag.

Rayna knows that he wants to say more but for the past 13 years they have been stuck in an endless cycle of leaving everything that might cross a line left unsaid. She watches him as he reaches down to lift up his bag. The way his muscles strain makes her pulse quicken. The images of him loving her are still fresh in her head and seeing his strong arms pick up the heavy bag only makes it worse. She feels an urge to escape but this time she wants him to be her escape. He starts to walk away but Rayna calls after him.

"Deacon, wait!"

He looks back in surprise. She is surprised too. She doesn't know what has gotten into her. The wall that she has built around her heart over the years is crumbling. She is confused. Her conflicting emotions are driving her crazy. She is no longer acting logically. She is acting on impulse and giving into the desires that she has buried for so long. Deacon lets Rayna catch up to him. They begin to walk together.

"What's up, Ray?" he asks, trying to mask his curiosity.

"I was just wondering… do you think we can talk in private when we get back to Nashville?" she asks boldly.

Rayna doesn't know where the words came from but she hopes desperately that he will agree. She doesn't know what she will say to him if he agrees but she knows that she doesn't want to be away from him when they get home even if it complicates things.

"Sure, Ray. What do you want to talk about?" he questions.

She hesitates.

"I just need to talk to you," she tells him.

He smiles. He contemplates her words. He is overwhelmed with emotion at the thought of her needing him.

"Okay. Here, let me help you with your luggage," he offers.

She pushes the handle of her suitcase towards him. His hand brushes hers as he reaches for it. They both smile at each other cautiously.

"Thank you," she says gratefully.

They walk together in silence towards the car that will take them to the plane. Both of them are lost in their own thoughts. When they reach the car, they slide into the back seat. When they are settled in, the driver begins to drive toward their destination. It is the first time in weeks that they have been in each other's company for more than a few minutes. There is an obvious tension between them. Deacon is unsure of how to act. They have avoided the topic of the kiss and of the text message that she sent to him afterwards, but both of them know that it is the only thing either of them can think about right now. Rayna wishes she could just reach over and kiss him right now. She knows it would be amazing but she can't stop worrying about the consequences. Deacon notices the way that Rayna is looking at him. He recognizes the look in her eyes. He knows that his eyes are reflecting the same emotions back into hers right now. He is overcome with the urge to kiss her. Just as he leans forward to fulfill his desire, her phone rings, breaking them from their trance.

"It's Bucky," she says.

"Answer it," he tells her.

She looks at him apologetically as she picks up the phone.

"Yeah, Buck," she says.

Deacon watches her while she talks. His eyes drift to her lips and he has to remind himself that he cannot act on his desires.

"Listen, Rayna, there has been a delay. Juliette had an emergency and had to take the jet. We won't be able to fly you or Deacon back to Nashville until tomorrow," he informs her.

"Thanks for letting me know, Bucky," she says as she hangs up.

Rayna turns to Deacon.

"Looks like we'll be here for another night," she says.

Deacon looks confused.

"Why, Ray? What's going on?" he asks.

"Juliette took the jet. We have to wait until tomorrow to fly home," she explains.

She tells the driver that they need to return to the hotel. They sit in silence contemplating the change of events.

"Well, what do we do now?" Deacon asks.

"I guess we make the most of it," she tells him.

"Well, Ray, why don't we go somewhere nice to eat tonight? We can enjoy the free time in the city and relax a little bit," he says.

"I don't know if that's such a good idea," she answers.

"Oh, come on. Nothing will happen. It'll be fun. I know you could use some relaxation with everything that's going on," he tries.

She appears to be thinking the idea over in her mind. Deacon is hoping desperately that she will agree.

"Okay," she says. "I guess that sounds nice."

Deacon smiles. He thinks that staying another night might not be so be bad after all.


	3. Chapter 3

Rayna paces back and forth in her room nervously.

"Why did I agree to go to dinner with him?" she asks herself.

The answer is easy: she let her guard down. The only way that she is ever able to resist him is by hiding her feelings and by never letting them come to the surface. In a moment of weakness, she had let it all go. She had thrown all of her hard work out of the window. All of the years of running from him and suffering silently because of her love are now for naught. She thinks of calling him and backing out. It would be disappointing but it would spare them both a lot of pain in the long run.

"No," she thinks. "I want to be near him tonight."

She knows that the very thought of being alone with Deacon could be her undoing but in her emotional state she doesn't care. She has spent so long trying to please everyone around her. She is starting to think that it might be time to start focusing on what she wants. She knows it would be different than before but her old fears are still buried below the surface.

"What if I am the reason that he couldn't stay sober?" she asks herself. "What if he can only stay sober if I stay out of his life?"

She sobs at the thought. She knows that she is being ridiculous. She knows that he loves her and that he has learned from his mistakes but she can't stop the doubts from flowing into her mind. She walks to the mirror and checks her appearance. She is wearing a dress that she knows Deacon will love. She knows that he will be tempted by it. She wants him to be tempted by it. She wants to forget about her worries and run to his arms. She wants to feel alive again. The kiss in the elevator was the first time that she has felt truly alive in years. She yearns for his touch. She desperately wants to feel his lips on hers one more time. In some ways, he really is her addiction. She never gets enough of him and, even through the pain and the consequences, she still wants him more than anything. Her feelings for him are beautiful and terrible at the same time. She can't imagine ever feeling this strongly about another man. She already knows that she never will. After years of avoiding reality, she is finally able to admit to herself that she can't live without him.

Her thoughts are interrupted by a knock on the door.

"You ready, Ray?" Deacon calls.

"One second," she responds.

She takes a deep breath and pulls herself together. She knows that she needs to take her time and be sure that she is ready before she reveals her feelings to Deacon. The second that her feelings are out in the open, everything will change. It will be all or nothing. She needs to take it slowly. She needs to remember the problems that a new relationship might cause with her daughters. She knows it will save them all a lot of pain in the long run if she doesn't rush into this. She tries to convince herself that she cannot yet pursue the thing that she desires above everything else. She makes one last attempt at calming herself down and walks toward the door.

"Hey," she greets him when she opens the door.

He smiles brightly at her. Rayna sees the look in his eyes as he takes in her outfit. She knows that she was right. He definitely likes her choice of attire.

"You ready for a good time, pretty lady?" he teases.

"You know I could really use some nice, relaxing fun," she tells him.

"I know. That's exactly why I think we should do this," he answers.

Despite her situation and her worries, she feels genuinely happy for the first time in months. The familiarity of Deacon's presence is comforting. When they are together like this, she feels like she can let go of her doubts.

"So where are we off to?" she asks curiously.

"I figured we'd be spontaneous tonight. Walk down the street and just pick a place and then see where the night takes us," he says.

She likes the idea. She is always planning everything. A little stress free spontaneity will be therapeutic for her. It still amazes her how well he can read her. She is sick of the rigidity of her life and she knows that he can tell. In their younger days, she had been the spontaneous one, always pulling him along for the ride.

"That sounds prefect," she responds.

He smiles at her. He is glad that she seems to be at ease. He has been worried about how she has been coping with everything and it is nice to see that she is doing better.

"You seem to be feeling better than you were last night," he comments.

He wants to test the waters. He wants to see how much she is willing to share. He wants her to trust him and confide in him.

"It's just that I've been having so many conflicting feelings," she says.

"Do you want to talk about it?" he asks.

Rayna senses his concern. She can tell that he wants to be the person she turns to for support.

"Well, for instance, there's the divorce. I'm not really sad about divorcing Teddy but I'm sad about the impact it will have on the girls. I'm also guilty for not being very sad. It's all so confusing," she answers.

"You shouldn't feel guilty. You aren't the one who slept with someone else," Deacon tells her.

She watches as his face flushes in anger at the thought of Teddy doing anything to hurt her.

"He thinks I did," she confesses.

She looks into Deacon's eyes and he understands what she means immediately. He knows that Teddy has been jealous of him for years. He also knows that if Teddy hadn't shown up that night after the kiss in the elevator then he would be right about his assumptions.

"I'm sorry," he answers.

"It's not your fault," she says.

"I don't want to cause you any pain," he tells her.

"Deacon, no matter what Teddy thinks about us, none of this is your fault," she says firmly.

"Okay, Ray. I just want you to know that you don't have to deal with this alone. If you need me then I'm here," Deacon replies.

"I've always needed you, Deacon," she says emotionally.

She doesn't know what made her say it but she is glad that she did. The look of happiness on Deacon's face makes it worth it. He reaches over and squeezes her hand. Rayna's heart races at the contact. She can't help but feel safe with his strong hand around hers. The feel of his hand enveloping hers is familiar and new at the same time. She notices that he hasn't let go but she doesn't pull away. She doesn't want to break the contact.

"I'm glad to hear that, Ray. So which of these places sounds good to you?" Deacon asks as they approach a strip of restaurants.

"Hmmm… How about that little Italian place right there?" she suggests as she points at the small establishment.

"Perfect," Deacon responds.

They approach the hostess and ask to be seated. The hostess recognizes them and takes them to a quieter, more private section of the restaurant to sit. The meal goes by quickly. The pair passes their time talking happily about various topics.

"I'm thinking that I'm gonna treat myself to some dessert," Rayna says after their plates are cleared.

"What are you gonna get?" he asks.

"Something chocolate," she responds.

She places an order for the chocolate lava cake and waits for it to arrive.

"Are you gonna share?" Deacon asks playfully.

"Maybe. Are you gonna eat it all like you did that time in South Carolina?" she teases.

"Maybe," he responds.

"Do you remember what happened after we ate that chocolate cake in South Carolina?" she asks.

She blushes. She can't believe that she let that slip. Deacon is noticeably flustered by the comment. She can see the desire in his eyes.

"I remember," he answers.

The cake arrives and they both take a bite. Rayna looks at Deacon as he puts the bite in his mouth. She is growing hot. The memory is burning in her mind. Rayna suddenly feels bold.

"Maybe we should take this cake to go," she says.

Deacon's eyes widen. The words are an echo of the past. He knows exactly what those words mean. He knows what will happen if he agrees. He looks into her eyes. He sees her desire. He doesn't know how much longer he will be able to control himself. His will power is slipping away. If she doesn't stop him then he will succumb to his desires for her. He knows that Rayna has never been the type to stop him. On the contrary, she loves to get him started. She loves to play with fire.

"Rayna," he growls.

The look in her eyes is enough for him. He leans across the table and presses his lips to hers. It feels amazing. It feels right. Her lips are soft beneath his. He brings his hand up to caress her head and he is completely lost. He loves the feel of her hair under his fingertips. He breathes her in. She lets out a soft whimper and brings her hand up to his cheek. He slips his tongue into her mouth and she moans. They pull back slowly, staying close to each other. Her breath is sweet on his face. They look at each other intently. He knows the look on her face. He knows exactly how she feels.

"Ray…" he breathes.

She knows that they have crossed a line but she doesn't care. There is no turning back anymore. She can't fight it anymore. She has to tell him.

"Deacon, I love you," she confesses.

He stares at her, unable to speak.

"I love you," she repeats. "That's just never not been true."

He kisses her again. This time the kiss is soft and sweet.

"I love you too, Ray. I always have," he says.

"Do you want to head back to the hotel?" she asks.

"Yeah, let's go," he answers.

As they walk back to the hotel, Rayna knows that they will be okay. She needs Deacon. She loves him. She doesn't care about the consequences right now. She just wants to be happy. She just wants to be with him. Even if it is only for the night.


	4. Chapter 4

When Deacon wakes up, he looks around the room in confusion. It takes him a few seconds to recognize his surroundings. Rayna is snuggled up under the comforter, leaving him with only a sheet for warmth. Some things never change. He smiles happily as he remembers the events of the night before. Rayna was just as amazing as he had remembered. Actually, she was even better. He watches her for a moment before her eyelids begin to flutter. She opens her eyes slowly and sees him smiling at her. She smiles back at him.

"Mornin' beautiful," he says.

"Good morning," she responds.

"Are you gonna keep hoggin those covers, darlin? I'm freezing," he jokes.

She snuggles closer to him, wrapping her leg around his waist and covering him in the blanket.

"I don't hog the covers. You throw them off," she tells him.

"Whatever helps you sleep at night, Ray," he says.

"Is there any of that cake left?" Rayna asks.

Deacon laughs.

"I think we ate it all last night," he replies.

"Damn," she says.

Rayna sighs. She is happy to be here with Deacon. Waking up next to him is one of the best feelings in the world. She knows that when they leave this bed they will have to face reality. It is never a one-time thing with them but if they are going to attempt a relationship, there will be many challenges.

"How are you feeling about everything?" Deacon questions.

"Right now I feel great but I'm worried about what will happen when we get back to Nashville," she says.

Deacon nods his head in understanding.

"You know I'll be there if you need me," he assures her.

"I know but there is so much going on," she responds.

"I know and we'll face it together," he answers.

Rayna is happy to hear him say that. She knows that she will be able to face things better if she has him with her. She hopes that Teddy will be understanding but she has a feeling that he won't like the fact that she is starting something with Deacon.

Deacon pulls Rayna closer to him. She brings her hand up to caress his cheek. His fingers are tangled in her hair. Their lips meet passionately. Rayna moans his name softly against his lips. He slides his hand down her back as he traces her lips with his tongue. She opens her mouth for him. He explores her mouth eagerly. She breathes in his scent greedily. His touch is setting every inch of her skin on fire.

"Deacon," she moans.

She is desperate for him. She wants all of him. Deacon's fingers trace circles on her thighs, teasing her. Unable to wait any longer, Rayna pulls him closer to her.

After they are satisfied, they lay close to each other, basking in the glow of their love.

"You want me to go get us some breakfast?" Deacon asks.

She smiles at the familiar gesture. Throughout the entire duration of their relationship, Deacon had always offered to get her breakfast, unless he was too drunk to function properly.

"How about you wait for me to take a shower and then we can go together?" she suggests.

"Would you like some company in the shower?" he asks hopefully.

She knew that he would offer to join her. Deacon has never been able to simply wait for her to get out of the shower. When they were together, he would always offer to join her and on the rare occasion that she refused, he would interrupt her shower halfway through.

"Only if you promise to help me wash my back," she jokes.

"Anything for you," he teases.

When they are both dressed, they head down to the lobby of the hotel. The hotel they are staying at has a nice breakfast buffet. They make their way over to the end of the line. After they fill their plates with food, they find a table in the back corner of the room.

Rayna thinks about how much everything has changed in the past twelve hours. Today, she is sitting here with Deacon after making love multiple times. Yesterday, she was dwelling on all of the consequences that might result from reconnecting with Deacon in the wake of her divorce. Today, she is still worried about the future but she knows that she doesn't want to be away from Deacon. They deserve to be happy together. They have ignored their feelings and suffered away from each other for so long that it makes their reconnection even more magical.

"How's your breakfast?" Rayna asks.

"Pretty good. How's yours?" Deacon questions.

"It's better when you make it," she tells him.

He laughs gratefully at the compliment.

"Well then I'll have to make you some breakfast when we get back to Nashville," he responds, smiling broadly.

Rayna's demeanor changes as she thinks of their approaching return to Nashville.

"Can we keep everything just between us for now?" she asks.

"Why, are you ashamed of me?" Deacon questions, feeling insecure.

"Of course not, Deacon. It's just that it probably wouldn't be good for this to get out right now with my divorce and everything. It will be much easier if we just stay out of the public eye for a while," she tells him.

"Okay, Ray. Whatever you think is best," he replies.

They sit and eat in silence for a few minutes.

"What are your living arrangements going to be when we get home?" he asks.

He wants her to stay with him.

"Teddy and I want to keep the girls in a stable environment so we aren't going to move them around all the time. We're just going to take turns living in the house instead," she explains.

"Okay. Well if you need anywhere to stay, you know you always have a place with me," he says.

Rayna smiles appreciatively.

"Thank you, Deacon. I appreciate it," she answers.

"Have y'all told the girls yet?" he questions.

"No, we're telling them when I get home," she tells him.

He can tell that Rayna is worried about telling them.

"Okay. If you need anything then call me," he replies.

"You're so sweet," she says.

Deacon smirks.

"Baby, you're a lot sweeter. Trust me," he says suggestively.

"I don't know. You tasted pretty damn sweet when I was eating that chocolate cake off of you last night," Rayna responds.

He laughs.

"I'm glad you enjoyed your dessert," he answers.

Rayna is about to respond but is interrupted by her phone ringing.

"Hello?" she says.

"Hey, Rayna, it's Bucky. The plane will be ready for y'all in an hour. Does that work for you?" he asks.

"That sounds good, Bucky. Thanks for the update," she answers.

"No problem, see you in a few days," he responds.

Rayna hangs up the phone and turns to Deacon.

"Looks like we need to go upstairs and get everything packed up. The plane is going to be ready in an hour," she explains.

"Let's go," he replies.

About forty minutes later, the two are being driven to the airport for their flight. They are sitting in the back seat comfortably. Deacon has his arm wrapped tightly around Rayna and she is leaning her head on his shoulder.

"Do you still want to talk when we get back to Nashville?" Deacon asks.

Rayna thinks about it for a minute.

"Actually, I think I should go home for a while first to talk to the girls," she answers.

Deacon looks disappointed. He was hoping that she would want to spend some more time with him before they have to go their separate ways.

"Can I come over afterwards?" she asks him.

His face brightens immediately. The fact that she wants to come over afterwards gives him peace of mind for the time being.

"Of course, Ray. I'd love for you to come over," he responds.

"Good. I'm going to need you to help me through all of this," she replies.

"I'll be there, Ray. Any time. Any place," he assures her.


	5. Chapter 5

Rayna stares vacantly at the wall, leaning against the counter, her head resting in her hands. The talk with the girls had not gone well. They had stormed off to their rooms after hearing the news of the divorce. Rayna had followed them, in an attempt to calm them down, but they had not been receptive. On top of it all, photographs of her and Deacon had surfaced from the night before. Apparently they had been spotted in the restaurant kissing. Since the news of her divorce has not been released, the media outlets are all speculating that she has been having an affair. Rayna sees headlights in her driveway and knows that Bucky has arrived to discuss the situation.

"How are you, Rayna?" he asks in greeting.

"As good as I can be," she says.

"Well, I'm afraid I have some bad news. The PR people think that you should avoid Deacon for a while until we can get this thing to blow over. They also want you to do some interviews in order to clear the air," he tells her.

She had been expecting something like this. The approach makes sense but the last thing that she wants to do right now is to avoid Deacon, especially since his birthday is in a few days.

Rayna groans.

"I guess I need to call him then," she replies.

"I'm sorry, Rayna. I know how hard this must be for you but you probably should call him and let him know. This is very serious. Until we can get the real story out there, you cannot be seen with him," Bucky says.

"It isn't your fault, Buck. We should have been more careful," she responds.

"I'll call you later to check on you. I have a meeting set up with Marshall to discuss everything that we are planning. No matter what you do, be cautious," he tells her.

Rayna knows that Bucky suspects she will not be able to stay away from Deacon. He has witnessed their relationship. He has learned that they rarely act logically in situations like this.

Rayna picks up her phone and dials Deacon's number.

"Hey Ray," Deacon answers.

"Hey…" she says softly.

Deacon immediately knows that something is wrong.

"What's going on? Is everything okay with the girls?" he asks compassionately.

"The girls didn't take the news well but they are okay. This is about us," she replies.

Deacon begins to panic. He wonders if she is already having second thoughts.

"What about us?" he asks quickly.

Rayna sighs loudly.

"Deacon, have you seen the news?" she questions.

"No, Ray. I haven't turned on the TV since I've been home," he replies.

"Someone took pictures of us kissing last night at the restaurant. It's all over the news. They are saying that we've been having an affair," she explains.

"Damn, Ray. Are you serious?" he says.

He knows that this isn't going to be good.

"Yep. On top of that, Bucky and the PR people think that I need to avoid you until we can get the real story out or until this blows over," she tells him sadly.

"Damn. What are we gonna do?" he asks curiously.

He hopes that she plans on ignoring their advice. He doesn't want to stay away from her now that they have reconnected. The emotion in his voice kills Rayna. She can no longer stop the tears from falling. She wishes that they had been more careful. Now that they are together she doesn't want to be away from him. She was hoping that she would be able to turn to him during all of her trials. Now, she will have to avoid him. Once again, she would be forced to suffer without him, just when they had finally started to figure everything out.

"It makes sense, Deacon. It would be horrible for my reputation if we are seen together again," she responds. "I just… I wish it didn't have to be like this… I mean we just figured things out and now we won't be able to see each other. I… I wanted to be there for you for your birthday," she chokes out through the tears.

"It's okay, Ray. We'll figure it out. Don't cry," he says.

"I wish you were here," she tells him.

"Me too, Ray. Me too," he replies.

"I love you," she says, her voice thick with emotion.

"I love you too, Ray. Call me if you need me," he answers.

Rayna hangs up the phone and notices that Teddy has reentered the room. He is staring at her. He must have heard the end of her conversation.

"Who was that?" he asks her. "Was it Deacon?"

"Yes, Teddy. It was Deacon," she replies truthfully.

"Damn it, Rayna. I can't believe you let this happen. Do you have any idea how much this will affect the girls?" he asks angrily.

"Apparently you don't even care about them if you are still talking to him," he adds.

Rayna can tell that he is still jealous of her relationship with Deacon. Even now, Teddy feels conscious of the fact that he was her second choice.

"I'm sorry, Teddy, but you have no room to talk. You asked for a divorce. You cheated on me with Peggy. You can't just storm in here and tell me what I can and can't do with my life," she responds, her voice rising.

"I may have been the one to actually cheat but don't try to pretend that you never wanted to, that you didn't think about him all the time. I heard you call his name in your sleep. I saw the way you looked at him. I know that you wanted to be with him instead," he replies venomously.

"Don't you even think about doing this, Teddy. I was faithful to you. I always supported you, even when I didn't agree with you," she yells.

"Fine, Rayna. I don't know why I even try," he says as he walks away.

Rayna sits down on the couch. The tears are falling harder now. She turns on the news.

"Country singer Rayna Jaymes was spotted getting cozy with her long-time guitarist and ex-lover, Deacon Claybourne, last night. The two were seen making out at an Italian restaurant the night after their show. There have always been rumors about a possible affair. It appears that these rumors are now confirmed. Miss Jaymes' husband Mayor Teddy Conrad refused to comment," the reporter tells the audience.

Rayna turns off the TV. She can't believe that this has happened. There had always been rumors but she had managed to avoid a scandal of this magnitude for the entire length of her marriage. She had been faithful. Even when she had wanted to give in to Deacon, she had remained strong. Now all of her hard work seemed pointless.

She isn't worried about her career because she knows that it will blow over eventually but she is worried about the effect these reports will have on the girls. The pictures are very damning. She knows that she will have to explain everything to them.

She needs to see Deacon. She needs to feel his comforting embrace. She needs to talk to him about everything that has happened in the past two days. She knows that she can't be seen with him but she feels like she is sinking without him.

_Can I come over?_

She hesitates before sending the message, but once she has sent it, she feels a wave of relief pass over her. Deacon has always been the one constant in her life. She wants to get lost in the familiarity of him in order to find peace in these rocky and uncertain waters.

_Of course._

His reply is simple but she knows that he wants to see her too. She grabs a hat and a scarf, which will help to disguise her face if she is seen at his house, and leaves her house in a hurry. She is desperate to see him.

When she arrives, she takes in her surroundings, making sure that no one is around. She gets out of her car and walks quickly to his front door. She knocks urgently. He opens the door and lets her in.

"What's going on, Ray?" he asks in concern. "Did something else happen?"

"No. I needed to see you," she responds.

She steps forward and pulls him down for a kiss. The kiss is desperate and passionate. Deacon reacts quickly, responding to her kiss enthusiastically. He pushes her into the wall. He holds her up as she wraps her legs around his waist. Her hands are everywhere. She runs them over his strong back muscles. She brings them down to caress his butt. She brings them back up to play with his hair. She moans his name against his lips. He reacts by kissing her more forcefully. She pulls her shirt over her head and then begins to unbutton his shirt. She needs to feel him. She needs to know that nothing has changed. She needs to know that he is still there. They don't make it to his bed. They are too impatient for that. Instead, Deacon places her on the table. Their desire and passion for each other combine for an intense session of lovemaking.

Afterwards, Rayna puts on Deacon's shirt and Deacon wears only a pair of boxers. They sit on the couch together, enjoying each other's company. The experience has made Rayna feel better. Even in the midst of this chaos, Deacon is by her side.

"This is nice," Deacon says.

Rayna smiles at him and brings her head down to rest on his shoulder. She clutches his arm, holding on to him as if he is a life preserver, ensuring that he stays close.

"I'm glad you stopped by," he tells her.

She laughs.

"I bet you are," she responds.

"You enjoyed that just as much as I did," he replies knowingly.

He is right. It was great. It is always great.

"Do you want anything to drink?" he asks her.

"Some water would be nice," she answers.

He stands up and goes to get two glasses of water. When he returns, she is softly strumming a few chords on his guitar.

"What's that you're playing?" he asks.

"Just something I was thinking of for a new song," she tells him.

She accepts the glass of water and takes a sip before setting it down on the table.

"We haven't written a song together in ages," he comments.

"That's because you admitted that all of your songs are about me," she answers.

She had always known that they were about her but when he had admitted it that day on the bridge it had only reinforced her decision to avoid listening to them or using them on her albums.

"That shouldn't be a problem anymore," he says, laughing.

"Not a problem at all. Have I inspired you to come up with any new material in the past couple of days?" she asks jokingly.

"Baby, you're always inspiring me," he replies sweetly.

She gives him a soft kiss and brings her hand to his cheek. She leans back and looks into his eyes.

"You inspire me too, babe," she tells him.

They sit on the couch experimenting with different chords, trying to find one that sounds right. When they are taking a break, a thought suddenly pops into Deacon's mind. He needs to make sure that she is okay with everything that has happened.

"Do you have any regrets about this, Ray? You know, now that the news is out and everything."

Rayna sighs. She knows that she needs to be delicate with him but she can't lie and say that she doesn't regret anything about the situation at all.

"I don't regret us, Deacon. I regret the way that things turned out. It's going to be hard to explain it to the girls," she says.

"I wish it had happened differently too," he replies.

He is glad that she doesn't regret the past two days that they have shared together. He doesn't know if he would be able to survive being rejected by her again. He wants to ask her another question but he doesn't want to upset her. His curiosity gets the better of him.

"Do you regret marrying Teddy?" he questions.

She doesn't respond immediately. She ponders the question, trying to think of the best way to respond.

"Teddy was a great father to the girls. I wouldn't want to take that away from them… but if I got the chance to do it over then I probably wouldn't marry him," she confesses.

Deacon likes her response. He is often plagued with regrets. He wishes that he had never given Teddy the opportunity to steal her away from him.

They are interrupted suddenly by the sound of someone banging on the door.

"Open up!" a man's voice calls.

They both stand up in a hurry. Rayna rushes around to find her pants. She pulls them on as quickly as she can. Deacon grabs a t-shirt and pulls it over his head. He opens the door.

"Teddy!" Rayna shouts in surprise. "What are you doing here?"

She is bewildered by his sudden appearance. She tries to flatten her hair but she knows that is doesn't help. Teddy looks at them closely. He can tell that they have been intimate. His anger grows. He feels increasingly jealous.

"When I saw you leave, I knew exactly where you were going. I can't believe you're doing this. Your family needs you right now and here you are just rolling around in bed with him," Teddy tells her, angrily.

His comment makes Rayna's blood boil. He is being such a hypocrite.

"Teddy, this is none of your concern. We're getting divorced," she says in agitation.

"Oh, hell, Rayna! Don't you care about your daughters at all?" he asks.

She looks at him incredulously. She can't believe that he is even questioning that. She knows that he is just trying to hurt her.

"Teddy, don't be ridiculous," she replies, trying to keep her cool despite his rude comment.

"Here," he says, handing her a piece of paper.

She looks down at the paper in her hand. It is some kind of official document.

"What is this?" she asks.

"It's the divorce papers that I had drawn up along with a form that I have filled for full custody of our daughters. The last one is a restraining order. Neither you nor Deacon are allowed around the girls until he is out of your life," he tells her.

Rayna sees Deacon clenching his fists. She knows that he is trying to resist the urge to strangle Teddy.

"This is crazy, Teddy! I have done nothing wrong. You know that I love those girls more than anything. You know that you have no right to do this," she answers, her temper rising.

"Well, I'm the Mayor of this town and I don't think you deserve to be around them until you cut him out of your life," he says.

"You can't do this to me just because you are jealous of Deacon," she yells.

"I can do whatever I want, Rayna," he tells her.

Before she can stop him, Deacon is throwing his fist at Teddy's face. Teddy falls to the ground, holding his hand to his face.

"Looks like I was right in issuing the restraining order. Until you get this dangerous man out of your life, you will not be able to see the girls," he says before getting up to leave.

Deacon slams the door loudly. He turns around and wraps his arms around Rayna, trying to comfort her.

"Shh," he soothes. "It's gonna be alright. We'll fight this thing. He can't take them away from you."

Rayna sobs into his chest. Deacon rubs her back, trying to calm her.

"I… can't believe him… he has no right," she cries.

"I know, baby. We'll fix this. I promise," he says. "Here, drink some water."

She takes a sip out of her glass. It helps her calm down a little. Her eyes are red from the tears. Deacon leads her to the couch. They sit down. He holds her close to him, trying to comfort her as much as he can. A little while later he notices that she has fallen asleep. He lifts her up gently and carries her to his bed. He takes off the pants that she had hastily thrown on and pulls the covers up over her body. He gets into the bed next to her and drifts to sleep, hoping that things will be better in the morning.


	6. Chapter 6

Deacon wakes up to the sound of Rayna crying. His heart breaks at the sight of her. She is curled up underneath the covers, sobbing into her hands. He puts his arm around her and pulls her closer to him.

"Come here, Ray," he says.

She turns around and buries her head in his chest. Deacon kisses the top of her head softly. He hates seeing her like this. He hates Teddy even more for doing this to her.

"I don't want to lose them," she cries.

"You aren't going to lose them," he says firmly. "I have a plan."

Rayna looks up at him. Her eyes are red and there are tears running down her cheeks.

"What kind of plan?"

"Well, haven't you been getting along better with your father since his heart attack?" he asks.

She nods her head. She wonders what that has to do with anything.

"We'll go talk to him. Tell him the situation. I've never liked Lamar but I know that he has the ability to help us. He won't let you lose your daughters," Deacon explains.

Rayna is surprised at his suggestion. Deacon has always disliked her father and he has never suggested that they ask him for help before. Her heart swells with love for the man in front of her. She knows that he would only ever suggest something like that for her. The fact that he is willing to set aside his differences with Lamar to help her is eye opening for Rayna.

"That's a good idea, Deacon. Are you sure it will work?" she asks.

"We both know that your father has ways of getting whatever he wants in this city," Deacon responds.

Rayna knows that Deacon is right. Her father has money and brains. If her father will help her, there is no way that Teddy will get away with this.

Rayna smiles for the first time since Teddy's unwanted appearance. Deacon is happy to see her smile. He thinks she has a beautiful smile.

"Why don't you hop in the shower while I make us some breakfast and then we can go visit Lamar?" Deacon suggests.

"Deacon, that sounds nice, but we can't be seen together, remember?" she asks.

"We won't be seen. We'll go straight there and then come straight back," he answers.

She hesitates. She doesn't want to cause any more problems than she already has but with the way Teddy is acting she doesn't really care about being seen with Deacon. Plus, it isn't very likely that anyone will see them on this little excursion.

"Okay," she agrees. "But are you sure you don't want to keep me company in the shower?"

Deacon smiles. He loves taking showers with Rayna. He loves watching the water fall down her body while he helps her to clean the places that she can't reach.

"If you don't mind waiting a little longer on your breakfast," he replies.

"I don't mind at all," she says, as she walks into the bathroom.

When they emerge from the shower, they both look significantly happier. Rayna is still worried about the situation but she is confident that her father will be able to help. They eat breakfast quickly. Deacon is visibly anxious about talking to Lamar. He has never purposefully approached Lamar but he is willing to do it for Rayna.

When they arrive at Lamar's house, Rayna gives Deacon's hand a firm squeeze. She wants him to know that she appreciates his willingness to be there for her in this situation. She tries to convey her gratitude with a meaningful look. He responds by giving her a quick kiss on the cheek before walking with her to the front door. Rayna does not ring the doorbell. She simply walks into the house. They find Lamar sitting in his study.

"Daddy," Rayna says, as they walk in.

"Rayna, Deacon, what a surprise it is to see you both," Lamar replies.

Rayna sees his eyes linger on their joined hands.

"And it seems that the two of you have gotten back together," he comments.

Lamar does not let his thoughts on the matter show. Rayna is surprised by his restraint. If this had happened before his heart attack he would have been voicing his displeasure at their union forcefully by now.

"Daddy, I came to ask for your help," she begins. "Teddy has issued a restraining order against me and Deacon. Neither of us is allowed to see the girls. He has also filled for full custody. I was hoping you'd be able to help get rid of the restraining order and make sure that he doesn't win full custody," she says.

"I certainly can. Consider it taken care of," Lamar responds.

"Thank you, Daddy. I really appreciate it," Rayna replies.

"You're welcome, Rayna," he says.

Rayna and Deacon turn to leave but Lamar stops them.

"Be careful, Rayna. Teddy is acting out of fear. Many of his secrets are on the verge of being revealed," he tells her. "He is afraid of losing the girls, especially Maddie."

Rayna looks at her father warningly. She doesn't want him to be the one to reveal the truth about Maddie to Deacon. If he is going to find out then she wants to be the one to tell him. Deacon notices the odd exchange but decides that now is not the time to ask any questions.

Thirty minutes later, they are sitting together on Deacon's couch.

"That went well," Deacon says, commenting on Lamar's willingness to help.

"Yep," Rayna says shortly.

She doesn't mean to sound annoyed but she has been dwelling on her father's final words ever since they left his house. What did he mean by saying that Teddy's secrets were about to come out? And, more importantly, why had he said the last part about Maddie in front of Deacon? Rayna hopes that she can find a time to tell Deacon about Maddie in the right way. She doesn't want to tell him now because she wants to ease him into the news. Deacon's next question makes Rayna wonder if he is reading her mind.

"That was kind of a weird comment your father made at the end though," Deacon says. "Do you know what he meant by it?"

Rayna becomes extremely nervous. She wonders what she should say. Should she just tell him right now? How will it change things between them? How will he react to the news? She wants to make sure that he doesn't do anything stupid if he becomes upset.

"I'm not sure what he meant about Teddy's secrets," she answers.

"What about the other part? The part about Maddie," he clarifies.

Rayna looks at him. She is afraid that the secret will destroy what they have built in the past few days. She doesn't want to keep it from him any longer but she doesn't know how he will handle it. Her mind flashes back to another time. In her memory, Deacon is drunk, screaming at her, throwing furniture, and threatening to leave. Rayna knows that he has been sober for a long time but she is scared that this secret might be the catalyst that sends him back to that dark place. She knows that she can't evade the question. She has always told herself that she would be honest if he ever asked her about it directly.

"Deacon, I think the answer is going to upset you," she tells him sadly.

He looks into her eyes and sees pain. He begins to wonder if he even wants to know the answer to his question.

"Why would it upset me? What does it even have to do with me?" he questions in confusion.

"It has everything to do with you," she replies.

She takes a deep breath to calm her nerves. She needs him to know how she feels before she ruins everything.

"Deacon, I just want you to know that I love you so much. I always have and I always will," she says, earnestly.

"I know that, Ray. I love you too but you're starting to scare me. Tell me what it is," he requests.

"Well, I guess I should start at the beginning. Do you remember the night before I took you to check into rehab for the 5th time?" she asks.

"Not really, Ray. Most of those days are pretty fuzzy," he replies.

"We were both emotional. I hadn't told you yet but I had already decided that I needed to move on. You kept promising that you'd finally get sober this time. I had faith in you but I knew that you had said those same things many times before. I needed to be with you one last time. I needed our relationship to end on a good note. You brought me flowers and a teddy bear. I still have the bear in the back of my closet. We made love that night. We made love for what I thought was the last time. The next morning you were in rehab and I was moving my stuff to Tandy's house. Shortly after I started dating Teddy, I found out that I was pregnant. I knew that the baby could be yours and I told him that it might be. He said that he didn't care. He proposed and said that we would do a paternity test after the wedding. We did the test and found out that she was yours," she tells him.

"She's mine?" he asks, his voice rising. "How could you keep that from me?"

Deacon clenches his jaw. Rayna notices that his eyes are starting to water. She is hit with a strong feeling of regret. She wishes that she had done things differently, that she had told him from the beginning.

"We thought we were doing what was best for Maddie," Rayna explains.

"Damn it, Rayna. I can't believe you have been lying to me for 13 years," he says angrily.

Deacon feels like he has been betrayed. She has been deceiving him for 13 years. Every moment that they have spent together is now tarnished by this lie. The only other time he remembers feeling so hurt was when he found out that she had married Teddy.

"Deacon, try to remember how you were then," she tries.

"I got sober, Ray. I got sober. You could have told me," he replies.

"How was I supposed to know that the 5th time was finally going to stick?" she asks, her voice rising to match his.

"You should have trusted me like I have trusted you. You should have waited for me like I have waited for you," he answers, his voice full of hurt.

"I'm sorry, Deacon. I did what I thought was best at the time," she says remorsefully.

"I can't talk to you right now, Ray. I need space," he responds.

"Deacon, I don't want to leave you like this. I need to make sure that you're gonna be alright," she answers.

"I just can't right now, Rayna. You betrayed me. I trusted you more than anyone and you betrayed that trust," he tells her.

"Let me at least call Coleman before I leave. That way you have someone to talk to about all of this," she suggests.

"Fine. Call Coleman. Make sure I have a babysitter. But the second he gets here you are leaving," he says, pointing his finger at her in anger.

Rayna is relieved that he is allowing her to stay until Coleman arrives. She won't have to worry about him as much if she knows he is in good hands. She calls Coleman and he says that he will be right over. Deacon sits on the other side of the room, staring at his hands. Watching him makes Rayna feel miserable. She wishes that she could comfort him.

"Listen, Deacon, I know you don't want to talk to me right now but I really don't want to lose you. I'll give you some time and space but I really hope you can forgive me. I need you," she says, desperate to express her feelings.

Deacon doesn't acknowledge her. He does not move at all.

A moment later, Coleman enters the house. He walks over to Rayna first.

"I've got it from here, Rayna. I'll give you a call later," he tells her.

Rayna doesn't want to leave but she knows that Deacon will be okay now that Coleman is here. She gets up slowly and walks over to Deacon. He doesn't look up. She gives him a soft kiss on the top of his head.

"I love you and I'm sorry," she whispers.

She takes a deep breath and heads for the door. She knows that she has really messed up this time but she hopes that she will hear from Deacon soon.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: I made a slight change to chapter five so that Deacon's birthday is now occurring a few days after their return to Nashville instead of the day after. Also, the lyrics I have included in this chapter are obviously from the song Stronger Than Me which was sung by Connie Britton on **_**Nashville. **_**Thanks for all of the feedback! I appreciate your support!**

Rayna sits in front of the piano, scribbling lyrics onto her notepad. She hasn't been able to sleep since leaving Deacon's house. All night, she was tossing and turning, thinking of him. Today is his birthday. Usually, he stays home every year and watches _Old Yeller_, but Juliette Barnes called a little while ago to inform Rayna that she is invited to his party tonight at the Bluebird. Rayna will be performing at the party. The song she is writing is a reflection on the past 13 years of her relationship with Deacon. It also vividly describes how she feels about their recent argument.

_Pour me something stronger_

_Pour me something straight_

_All these crooked voices,_

_Make them go away_

_I can barely stand up_

_I can hardly breathe_

_Pour me something stronger than me_

She knows that Deacon will understand the song. She knows that he will be able to relate to the emotions. She hopes that it will help him to forgive her. They have always been able to speak to each other with their music and she feels like her new song is the best way to get him to listen to her in this situation.

Despite the adverse consequences, their visit to Lamar was a success. The restraining order has already been dropped and an order for joint custody has been submitted. Rayna just wishes that she had been able to tell Deacon the truth at a better time.

Rayna's phone rings. It's Coleman. She has been anxiously anticipating this call.

"Hey Coleman," she answers.

"Rayna, how are you?" he asks.

"I'm doin okay. How is he?" she questions, her voice heavy with emotion.

She hopes that Deacon has not done anything stupid because of his emotions. She would never be able to forgive herself if she had caused him to revert back to his old habits after being sober for so long.

"I talked to him for a long time about everything. He is still very unhappy with you but the good news is that he didn't turn to alcohol to ease the pain," Coleman tells her.

Rayna lets out a sigh of relief. In that moment, she doesn't care that he is mad at her. She is just glad that he is okay. That he is alive and that he is still sober. His wellbeing is the most important thing to her.

"Thank God! Did you explain the reasoning behind my decision to him?" she asks.

"I did, Rayna. He understands parts of it but he still can't get over the fact that you waited for him to be sober for 13 years before finally telling him," he responds. "I told him that we thought it would be best not to drag him into it, that we agreed he would have a better chance to recover if he was free from the situation."

"How did he take that?" she asks.

She already suspects that he didn't take it well.

"He didn't like it," Coleman answers, confirming her suspicions.

"Is he gonna be okay, Cole?" she questions, her voice breaking as she speaks.

She needs to know that he will recover from this. She needs to know that he won't lose himself in his misery like he has so many times before.

"Yeah, Rayna, he is going to be okay. He's approaching the situation in the right way. He's healing without the aid of alcohol. He will be fine," he says.

Rayna is happy to hear that he is on his way to acceptance. Even if he stays mad at her she wants him to be able to have a relationship with Maddie. She knows that he deserves to have a relationship with Maddie. She is his daughter too, after all. The thought makes Rayna's heart flutter. She hasn't admitted Maddie's paternity to herself in years. It is now more real than ever. She and Deacon have a daughter together. Maddie was created through their love.

"Thanks, Coleman. I'll talk to you later," she says.

"You too, Rayna. Stay strong. It will be a long road but I think he'll come around eventually," Coleman answers.

She hangs up the phone. Her mind remains focused on Deacon. She gets lost in a daydream. She remembers the way it feels when he is holding her close, stroking her hair. She can almost feel him touching her gently. She can smell his sweet breath as he leans in to kiss her. She can feel the way his facial hair scratches her cheek, the way his muscles strain beneath her fingertips.

"Mom!" Maddie calls.

"What is it, sweetheart?" Rayna responds.

Maddie runs into the room. She is out of breath.

"Daddy is outside. He's bleeding," Maddie tells her, the worry evident in her voice.

Rayna jumps up immediately and runs down the stairs. She sees Teddy sitting on the ground outside, clutching his side. She tells Maddie to stay in the house and goes outside to talk to him.

"What happened?" she asks.

He looks bad. His face is bloodied and bruised. His shirt is covered in dirt. It looks like he has been jumped.

"Your boyfriend beat me up while I was in the park," he answers.

She looks at him like he is crazy.

"My boyfriend?"

"Deacon," he tells her.

"Why did he do that?" she questions.

"How should I know? I was just walking to get some lunch and he came up to me and started punching me," he answers.

She immediately knows that this wasn't about the other night. She thinks that Deacon might be taking his anger out on Teddy for keeping the secret about Maddie's paternity. She thinks that Deacon would view Teddy as the bad guy in this situation. He is angry with her but Rayna knows that Deacon has always blamed Teddy for convincing her not to wait for him while he was in rehab. The revelation of Maddie's paternity probably only strengthens his feelings of resentment towards Teddy.

"I think I might know…" Rayna confesses.

Teddy nods, indicating to her that she should go on with her explanation.

"We went to see Daddy yesterday and he let something about Maddie slip. When Deacon asked me about it later, I told him the truth," she tells Teddy.

"You told him the truth?" he asks, angrily. "What about our agreement?"

"You have nothing to worry about. He isn't going to jeopardize your relationship with Maddie. And even if he wanted to, he is too angry with me to even think of coming by the house right now," Rayna says.

"Trouble in paradise?" he asks sarcastically. "Didn't take the news very well, I guess?"

Rayna can't believe how immature Teddy is acting about the whole situation. Ever since he suggested the divorce, he has been trying to punish her.

"No, Teddy. He didn't like that I had been lying to him for 13 years," she replies.

"So, why did you tell him after all of this time? Why not just lie?" he questions.

"He deserved to know," she says simply.

"If you say so," Teddy answers.

"Do you want any ice or anything for your bruises?" she asks him.

"I'll be okay," he says. "I just came here to get a few things."

She turns around, leaving him alone outside. She walks back upstairs and looks at her notebook. She is satisfied with her new song. She likes the message that it conveys and the way it expresses her feelings in such an accurate way. She thinks about Deacon, hoping that he won't get himself into any more trouble. The fact that he beat Teddy up isn't exactly a good sign. She doesn't really care about that though, as long as he doesn't start drinking again.

A few hours later, Rayna checks her appearance in the mirror. She is wearing a blue blouse, a pair of tight jeans, and her boots. Her top is Deacon's favorite color. She knows that wearing it won't help him to forgive her but she wears it for him anyways. She hopes he will at least notice her effort.

When she arrives at the Bluebird, everyone is already there. Juliette walks over to her as soon as she comes through the door.

"Are you ready? I have you going on next," Juliette asks.

"Yeah, I'm ready. Thank you," she replies, grateful that Juliette is actually letting her perform, despite their differences.

"Who am I to deny the party guests a performance from the great Rayna Jaymes?" Juliette asks sarcastically.

Rayna smiles at her politely before walking away to get ready for her performance. She feels strangely nervous. She wants it to go well. She wants Deacon to understand exactly what she is trying to say.

When it is her turn, Rayna walks up to the stage. Her eyes search the room for Deacon. She finds him quickly. He is sulking in a corner. He returns her gaze unwaveringly, his facial expression unchanging. He looks extremely handsome tonight in his flannel shirt and blue jeans but, then again, Rayna always thinks he looks handsome. Rayna turns her attention to the audience for a second; trying not to get distracted by how sexy Deacon looks.

"Hey y'all. I'm here to celebrate the birthday of one of my oldest friends, Deacon Claybourne, because without Deacon Claybourne there would be no Rayna Jaymes," she says.

Her heart is beating loudly. She is nervous about pouring out her feelings to him. She doesn't want to feel rejected. She doesn't want to open her heart to him if he is only going to stomp on it.

"So, this one is for you, Deacon," she adds, staring into his eyes.

The music starts and Rayna waits for her cue.

_Oh, here I go again_

_Walking the line, killing time between my sins_

_Oh, why do I come here?_

_The endings still the same_

_I'm bringing back old tears_

Rayna's eyes have not left Deacon. He stares back. The look on his face is unreadable. Despite his outward appearance, the lyrics are washing over him, penetrating the wall he has recently erected around his heart to protect himself from her.

_I act like I don't know_

_Where this road will go_

She hopes that she is wrong. She wants this road to lead them to a happy ending but it never has before. It has only lead to heartache and longing.

_Pour me something stronger_

_Pour me something straight_

_All these crooked voices, make them go away_

_I can barely stand up_

_I can hardly breathe_

_Pour me something stronger than me_

_Pour me something stronger than me_

She pours her emotions into the lyrics. The words are coming directly from her heart and the pain that she feels. She is standing before him, stripping herself down to the core until she is bare.

_Sunrise hurts as much as you_

_You both come up when I don't want you to_

_Oh, I can still hear you say_

_That you and I will both be better off this way_

She hears him saying it. She watches the memory play in her mind. She wants to convince him that he is wrong. The audience is captivated by her performance but she only sees him.

_These things that I run to_

_What I put my heart through_

She knows that it is all her fault. She knows that the mistakes that she has made only torture them.

_Pour me something stronger_

_Pour me something dark_

_Pour it up so high, till I can't feel my heart_

_I can barely stand up_

_I can hardly breathe_

_Pour me something stronger than me_

_Pour me something stronger than me_

The song ends. She doesn't want to feel anymore. She wants to let it all go. She wants her heart to stop hurting. She takes one last lingering look at Deacon before walking off the stage. She barely hears the applause from the audience. She can only hear the beating of her own heart. She walks to the bar and orders a drink.

"Great song, Rayna," someone calls as they pass by.

She doesn't even smile. How can she smile when her heart is broken in pieces? She takes a big gulp of her drink. It is definitely strong enough to take the pain away.

"Is this seat taken?"

She looks up in surprise. She can't believe that he is standing next to her. She can't believe that he is sitting down.

"Hey," she says shyly. "Happy birthday."

"You okay?" Deacon asks.

"Not really, you?"

"Not really," he repeats.

"I'm sorry," she tells him.

Her face is covered in emotion. Her lips quiver as she looks at him.

"Not now, Ray," he tells her.

She looks down into her glass, avoiding his gaze.

"That sure was a pretty song," he says.

"That's what heartache is good for, isn't it? Pretty country songs," she jokes, but the small smile on her face does not reach her eyes.

"We've written some happy songs too," he replies.

She sighs. She hopes that there will be more happy songs in their future but she doesn't know if they will be able to make it past this.

"Maybe that would be more inspiring if I knew there were going to be a few happy songs in our future," she responds, voicing her thoughts.

"Maybe you're right but I can't answer that right now," he tells her. "I'm still trying to figure things out."

She hadn't expected him to give her any hope but, then again, she hadn't expected him to even talk to her tonight.

"I know," she answers. "I haven't given you much time. I just couldn't miss your birthday."

"It means a lot, Ray, it really does," he responds honestly.

She can see the sincerity in his eyes. He is truly glad that she has come for his party. With everything that is going on, it shows that she still cares. He has always trusted in her love and it is reassuring to him that he can continue to trust in it even though he doesn't trust her. The whole situation has made him doubt her love but now that he can see it in her eyes and in her actions he knows that it is the one thing about their relationship that he still doesn't have to doubt.

"You'll call me if you need anything?" she asks.

"Sure."

She knows that he is only saying that to ease her mind. She doesn't think she will hear from him any time soon.

"Okay. I'll see you later. I have to get back to the girls," she tells him.

"Tell them I said hi," he answers.

"I will, Deacon. Take care of yourself," she says.

"You too, Ray," he replies.

As Rayna drives home, she replays the night in her head. It had gone better than she had expected it to. He hadn't said anything to give her any reason to hope for a quick reconciliation but he had at least made the effort to talk to her. That alone was a big step for Deacon.

"Be patient, Rayna. Be patient and everything will be fine," she mutters to herself.

When Rayna gets home she walks up the stairs and knocks on Maddie's door. She has already discussed it with Teddy and he has reluctantly agreed to let her talk to Maddie about everything.

"Yeah?" Maddie calls.

"Can I come in, honey?" Rayna asks.

"Yeah, Mom. The door's unlocked," she replies.

Rayna pushes the door open and walks into the room. Maddie is reading a book on her bed.

"You mind if I sit down?" she asks her daughter.

"Sure," Maddie answers.

She scoots over and makes room for Rayna to sit down on the edge of the bed.

"Maddie, there is something important that I need to talk to you about," she says.

Maddie looks worried.

"What is it, Mom? Is it about Dad? Is he gonna be okay? I knew those bruises looked bad," Maddie says, jumping to conclusions.

"It's nothing like that, sweetheart," she reassures her daughter.

"What is it then?" Maddie asks.

Rayna takes a deep breath. It is now or never.

"Did you know that Deacon and I dated before your father and I got married?" Rayna asks.

"Yeah, I knew that," she answers.

"Well, when I was with Deacon, I got pregnant but Deacon had to go away for a little while. When he was away, I started dating your father. We decided to get married even though your father knew that I was already pregnant. We had the baby a little while after we got married. So what that means is that Deacon is your biological father," Rayna explains.

"What? How come I never knew about this? Did Deacon know? What does this mean?" Maddie asks frantically, her eyes filling with tears.

"It means that nothing is going to change. Even though your father is not your biological father he will always be your dad. You didn't know because we wanted to wait until you were old enough to understand to tell you. Deacon never knew. He just found out yesterday," Rayna tells her, answering all of her questions.

Maddie stands up abruptly.

"Can I spend the night at Aunt Tandy's house? I need to get out of here so I can think about this," Maddie says.

"Okay, Maddie. I'll give her a call," Rayna responds.

Rayna walks over to Maddie and gives her a tight hug. Maddie does not respond at first but slowly sinks into her mother's embrace.

"It's going to be okay, sweetheart," Rayna says comfortingly.

The two stay like that until Maddie has calmed down. After talking more with her mom, Maddie decides that she doesn't need to spend the night away from home.

An hour later, Rayna finally makes it up to her room. She pulls her boots off and falls down onto the bed. She feels physically and mentally exhausted. The events of the past two days have taken a toll on her. She doesn't have the energy to take her clothes off or get under the covers before falling into a heavy sleep.


	8. Chapter 8

"Hey y'all. It's Deacon. I can't come to the phone right now so just leave me a message and I'll get back to you," Rayna listens to his voicemail recording for what seems like the millionth time.

It has been about three days since Deacon's birthday. They are supposed to be leaving for the next leg of their tour tomorrow. Rayna is concerned about him because no one has seen him since his party at the Bluebird. She is worried that something may have happened to him. She is worried that he is falling back into his old habits.

"Hey, Deacon. It's me again. I'm just worried about you. Please call me back soon," she says, desperation in her voice.

She misses him. Each day without him seems longer than the last. He consumes her thoughts. She wonders where he is and what he is doing. She prays that he is safe.

* * *

Deacon is sitting on the couch in his dark living room when he sees his phone light up for the 7th time in an hour. He sighs, running his hand through his messy hair. He has been spending his time thinking about the situation. He is trying to cope with everything. He is trying to get his mind right before they have to go back on tour.

The song she sang at his birthday party had stirred many emotions in him. For this reason, he does not trust himself to be in her presence so soon. Hearing her voice on the phone would only serve to complicate matters further. He hopes that this time he is spending alone with his thoughts will pay off in the long run. If he can get his mind right, then he will be able to make smarter decisions when they go back on tour. He knows that they need more time than they have had to figure out where they stand. Deacon, also, realizes that they cannot go back to the way things were so easily. It will take time for him to forgive Rayna. It will take time for him to adjust to the fact that Maddie is actually his daughter.

His phone lights up again. This time it is a text message.

_I just need to know that you're okay._

He sighs. He can practically feel the anguish in her text. He knows that she has been worrying about him nonstop for the past three days. The thought is oddly satisfying to him. He doesn't want to talk to her but he doesn't see any harm in letting her know that he is still alive.

* * *

Rayna looks down at her phone anxiously when she feels it vibrate. She opens Deacon's message immediately.

_I'm fine. _

She is glad that he is okay. She has been tormented by her old nightmares of his body lying lifeless in a ditch or in a dark alley somewhere. She takes a deep breath. He is alive. He is alive. He is alive. The thought repeats in her mind.

Rayna's phone rings. For a brief moment, she is sure that Deacon is calling because he is finally ready to talk to her. She is disappointed when she sees that it is just Bucky calling.

"Hey Rayna," Bucky says.

"Hey Buck. What's up?" she asks.

"I was just calling to make sure that you're ready to get back on the road tomorrow. We have a pretty full schedule over the next few days," he replies.

"I'm ready. It'll be nice to escape this town for a while," she answers.

"Maybe you should escape into your music and write a few more new songs like the one you sang the other night," Bucky jokes.

Rayna sighs. Thoughts of that night invade her mind. She pictures him sitting next to her, telling her that it had been a pretty song.

"I'm working on a few," she tells him.

"Good, Marshall will like that. The jet is leaving tomorrow morning at ten so I'll see you then, okay?" Bucky responds.

"I'll be there," she assures him.

"Oh, and Rayna, don't forget about the interview you have scheduled for later today to clear everything up about those photos," Bucky reminds her.

"Thanks for the reminder, Buck. See ya tomorrow," she says.

Rayna takes a deep breath. She knows that she may be faced with some tough questions about her relationship with Deacon during the interview. She hopes that she will be able to contain her emotions and maintain her composure in front of the audience. On top of everything, Rayna has yet to start packing for the tour. She feels like she has too much on her mind to worry about packing right now. Besides, she has an interview to get ready for.

* * *

"Yes, Juliette. I'm gonna be there. I'm not gonna bail on you," Deacon says into the phone annoyed at Juliette for interrupting his thoughts.

"Good. I don't know what is going on with you and Rayna but it better not get in the way of your duties as my bandleader," she tells him.

Deacon sighs. This is exactly why he has been avoiding talking to everyone. He knows that they will all mention Rayna and he doesn't want to talk about Rayna. He is not ready to talk about Rayna.

"I'll never understand why you let her get to you like this," Juliette continues.

Deacon has come to expect these comments from Juliette. She doesn't see Rayna in the same way that he does. She doesn't understand how Rayna makes him feel.

"You don't know how it is between me and Rayna or how it was," he replies.

Deacon can't explain it to Juliette. It is hard to explain to anyone. The only other person in the world who understands the depth of their feelings for each other is Rayna. They had been through so much together and it had shaped them. They had grown up together, experienced life together, loved together.

"I just don't think you should let it affect you this much," she says.

How can he not let it affect him? He had been with her and then he had lost her. He had dreamt of getting her back for 13 years and when they had finally worked things out, her lie had torn them apart. The very thought of it devastates him. It controls most of his thoughts throughout the day and follows him to sleep at night, tormenting him in his dreams.

"I'll see you tomorrow, Juliette," Deacon responds, ignoring her comment.

Deacon puts the phone down. He stares at the blank TV screen. He makes an impulsive decision to break out of his pity party and turns it on.

"Up next, the Queen of Country speaks out. Hear her side of the story when we come back," the talk show host tells the audience.

Deacon is amused at his luck. Of course he would decide to turn the TV on right when Rayna is about to be interviewed. He turns the TV off. A second later he changes his mind and turns the TV back on. He barely pays attention to the commercials. His mind is going into overdrive. He tries to convince himself to just turn the TV off but he can't fight the urge to see her from this seemingly safe distance.

"Welcome back. We're here with country superstar, Rayna Jaymes," the host says. "Rayna, some pretty steamy photos of you have been leaked to the media. What do you have to say about them?"

Deacon's heart races at the sight of her. She looks as gorgeous as ever. He can tell that she is forcing her smile but that is only because he knows her so well. To the rest of the world, she appears to be extremely happy to be at the interview. He stares at her intently. Even with everything that is going on, she still takes his breath away.

"I can't dispute the photos but I do want to set the record straight about what they imply. Before these photos were taken, my ex-husband and I had already decided to get a divorce. I was never unfaithful to him," Rayna answers.

"So you're saying that you never had an affair with Deacon Claybourne while you were married to Mayor Conrad?" the host questions.

"Never. My relationship with Deacon has always been strictly professional," Rayna confirms.

Although they have never crossed the line, Deacon would not classify the relationship that they have had for the past 13 years as 'strictly professional.' The subtle hints, flirtatious touches, and longing looks that they shared on a regular basis had been anything but innocent.

"What about your relationship with Mr. Claybourne now? Are the two of you romantically involved? Judging by the pictures and what we have seen from y'all on the stage, there seems to be a lot of chemistry between the two of you."

Rayna looks like she is caught off guard. He can see that she is searching for the right words. He holds his breath, anticipating her answer.

"We're still very close. I care about him a lot," Rayna says vaguely, avoiding the question.

"You were with Deacon for 11 years before marrying Mr. Conrad. Is that correct?"

"Yes, that is correct," she replies.

"Why did your relationship end?"

Deacon is captivated by the interview. Her responses are very kosher but he is hanging onto every word. He is hoping that she will let something slip that exposes her real feelings.

"Deacon was working through some personal issues and I thought it would be for the best if I gave him some time and space to deal with everything," Rayna explains.

"So how were you able to transition into a professional relationship with him after you spent so many years together?"

"Well, Deacon and I have always been very close friends so the transition wasn't as difficult as it might seem," Rayna replies.

Deacon laughs. Rayna is great at always finding the proper response to questions that have the potential to elicit an intense reaction. The truth is that the transition had been difficult for both of them. There were times when he would find Rayna crying over him in the middle of the night on the tour bus. He would comfort her and then he would try to convince her to leave Teddy, to come back to him. There were other times when Rayna would find him with a groupie in his bed. She would scream at him in a jealous rage and then look at him with her eyes full of desire. They would sing their love songs together during the day and dream about being in each other's arms at night. It had not been an easy transition.

Deacon turns the TV off and leans back into the couch. He knows that he will be tested tomorrow. He only hopes that he will have the strength to stay away from her.

* * *

Rayna sighs as she walks into her house. The interview had gone well enough. The questions had been simple enough to answer. Now that she has time to think, she does her best not to dwell on the emotions that the interview has drawn to the surface. Instead, she tries to focus on the positive things that will come of the interview. The world now knows her story. In a few days, the scandal will be forgotten. If Deacon can forgive her, they will be free to do whatever they please in public, without worrying about the consequences. The thought is a happy one and a devastating one at the same time. What if he never forgives her?


	9. Chapter 9

Rayna sits in her seat on the plane, attempting to appear calm. Internally, she is going crazy. Deacon is not there yet but she knows that he will be arriving soon. She is anxious about seeing him again for the first time since his birthday. She hasn't heard from him at all since she received his short response to her text message. She knows that they will not be able to have any serious conversations while they are with everyone else on the jet but she hopes that he will not ignore her completely.

A few moments later, Deacon hurries onto the plane. He is late like always. The thought makes Rayna smile for a second. Even after all of these years, Deacon is still the same guy that she fell in love with. She remembers the day that he joined her band. She had been trying to find a guitar player for months but none of them had measured up. Deacon had walked into his audition ten minutes late but the second she saw him she knew that he would be the right guy for the job. The chemistry between them was almost instantaneous. Rayna is drawn from her memory when she sees Deacon approaching.

As he draws closer to her, he looks at her as casually as he can. Rayna's heart thuds fervently in her chest. She feels like it is about to burst through her skin. His hair is messy and he looks like he hasn't gotten much sleep. She wonders if he has been plagued with thoughts of them, day and night, like she has. Despite his obvious exhaustion, he is as handsome as ever. When Rayna looks into his eyes, she feels as if she is drowning in him. Now that she is close to him, she feels the familiar tension building. She can't turn her eyes away from him.

When he sees her staring at him, Deacon averts his eyes quickly. He can't handle being so close to her. All of the emotions that he feels about her are only amplified by her presence. The most powerful emotion he feels is love but the hurt and betrayal are still prominent. Deacon can't help but notice the low-cut blouse that she is wearing. If they were still together, the sight alone would encourage him to drag her off to the bathroom and have his way with her. Rayna knows exactly how to get to him. She usually doesn't even have to try. When he finally gathers the strength to pull himself away from Rayna, Deacon slowly makes his way to the back of the plane and sits down beside Juliette.

"Subtle entrance, Romeo," Juliette remarks sarcastically.

Deacon grumbles something incoherent and turns his head to look out the window. He tries to think of anything else besides Rayna. He tries to push her from his mind but she remains there as stubbornly as ever. Throughout the trip, he continuously glances in Rayna's direction. Most of the time, she is talking quietly with Bucky. A few times, they look up at each other at exactly the same time. As soon as it happens, both of them look down, afraid of getting caught.

Deacon can't take it any longer. He needs to have a moment of privacy. He needs to go somewhere that he cannot be tempted to look at her. Somewhere that he won't be tempted to admire the way the light makes her hair look even more beautiful than it usually does. He gets up without saying anything to Juliette and heads toward the only private place on the whole plane.

Rayna tries to listen to what Bucky is saying but her mind keeps wandering to Deacon. She notices that he keeps looking at her. She hopes that it is a good sign but worries that she might be imagining it. She sees Deacon get up and walk towards the back of the plane. She wants to follow him. She wants to talk to him and see where they stand.

"Buck, can you give me a sec? I have to use the restroom," she says, her eyes never leaving Deacon's retreating form.

Bucky looks at her suspiciously but only nods at her in response.

When she gets up, she has to steady herself. Her legs are shaking slightly from the nerves. She takes a deep breath and forces herself to adopt the confident exterior that she has used as a shield for so many years. When she reaches the back of the plane, she pretends to be busy making a cup of coffee in the small kitchen while she is waiting for Deacon to emerge from the bathroom.

Deacon sits in the bathroom thinking about all that has transpired in the past week or so. Everything has changed. His relationship with Rayna is now more complicated than it ever has been before. He still loves her and that will never change but, at this point, he doesn't think that they can be together. He looks at his reflection in the small mirror and splashes water on his face. The feel of the cold water on his face helps him to clear his mind. He decides that he is ready to go back to his seat and focus on talking about the tour with Juliette.

When Deacon exits the bathroom, he looks up and sees Rayna. He is surprised by her presence. Being so close to her, so suddenly, catches him off guard. He tries to control his emotions and remember what he has been thinking about in the bathroom. He sees her pouring some coffee into a mug. She looks up at him, trying to act surprised to see him. Her eyes linger on his lips momentarily as she fantasizes about kissing him. She decides that she needs to break the silence. She came back here to talk to him for a reason and she intends to make the most of this situation.

"Um, hi," she says. "Want some coffee?"

"Sure," he responds.

She fills up another mug and hands it to him. She smiles at him as he takes the mug from her.

"Thank you," he tells her.

He returns her smile. He is leaning slightly towards her, his body relaxing in her presence. A second later, he realizes what he is doing. He realizes that he is letting himself slip under her spell. He straightens up quickly, removing the smile from his face.

"You're welcome," she answers.

They stand there for a few minutes, sipping their coffee and looking at each other cautiously.

"How are you?" Rayna asks, breaking the silence.

"I can't complain. I've been better and I've been worse," he replies.

Rayna nods. She wishes that he would open up to her. She knows that it is her fault that he is acting like this but she can't help feeling a little annoyed. Even in his darkest days, she always stood by him. She had always been there for him. Why is he unable to stand by her now? Why can't he forgive her like she has forgiven him so many times in the past?

"I should probably be getting back to Juliette. She wants to talk about making some changes to her set," he tells her.

Rayna tenses. She doesn't want him to leave. She wants things to go back to the way they were before. She wants him to drag her into the bathroom and make love to her. She wishes that everything could be forgotten and they could go back to being passionately in love.

"Yeah, I'm sure you don't want to leave her waiting," she answers, feeling oddly jealous.

She wishes that she had never fired him. She misses having him in her band. She misses huddling in corners with him while discussing music. She misses the feeling that she gets when she is on stage with him. On top of all that, if he was still in her band he wouldn't be able to avoid her. They would be forced to talk everything out for the sake of their music.

Deacon turns his back and starts to walk away.

"Deacon, wait," Rayna says, just loudly enough for him to hear her.

He pauses and turns back around hesitantly.

"Um… do you… do you think you'll ever be able to forgive me?" she asks.

The second after she asks the question, she wishes that she could take it back. She doesn't want to appear weak. She doesn't want to be needy. She fears feeling rejected. She knows that it will break her heart even more if he says that he will never be able to forgive her.

Deacon sighs. His eyes look heavy with sadness. He wants to tell her that he will be able to forgive her but the memory of her deception is still too fresh in his mind. It has left a wound on his heart that will take time to heal.

"I don't know, Ray. I still need more time," he responds.

"Okay, I understand," she answers, trying to hold back the tears.

She tells herself that she is strong, that she will not cry in front of him.

Deacon hates to see her upset. Ever since the day he first met her, he has had a strong desire to make her happy. The fact that she is the one who caused the situation is the only thing that is stopping him from taking her in his arms and kissing the pain away. He is angry with her for what she has done. His anger makes him think that he is the one who deserves to be comforted, not her. Despite his anger, his love for her softens his heart.

"We'll be okay though, Ray. No matter what," he says, trying to cheer her up.

Rayna shakes her head. Her lips are shaking with emotion.

"How are we gonna be okay?" she asks.

She knows that she will never be okay without him. She already feels like she will regret the lie for the rest of her life.

"Trust me, Ray," he tells her.

She swallows, trying to push the lump out of her throat. She wonders if he will ever be able to trust her again.

"Okay, Deacon," she responds.

Overcome with emotion, Deacon comes back towards her and gives her a soft kiss on the top of her head.

"We'll talk more later," he promises.

Rayna grabs his wrist and stops him from walking away. She is inspired by the emotion that she can see in his eyes. She feels like being bold. The tension between them is growing. Rayna looks directly into his eyes, a determined look on her face. She reaches up and gives him a soft kiss on the lips. He responds immediately, overcome by the desire that she makes him feel. The kiss leaves them gasping for air.

When they separate, Deacon runs his hand through his hair distractedly. He is upset with himself for allowing that to happen. He is upset with himself for letting his guard down. The kiss was amazing but he knows that it is not the right time to be kissing Rayna. He gives her a long look, his eyes full of conflicting emotions. He musters all of his remaining strength and forces himself to walk back to his seat.

Rayna watches him as he walks back to Juliette. She would give anything to have him back by her side. She takes a few minutes to collect herself and heads back to her seat next to Bucky.

Although they both appear to be discussing business, neither of them can concentrate for the rest of the plane ride. Their minds are filled with millions of memories, worries, and wishes. Neither of them can stop thinking about the kiss that they had just shared or about how right it had felt to be back in each other's arms.

Later that day, Rayna is getting settled into her hotel room. The penthouse is roomy and comfortable but Rayna can't help feeling overwhelmed by the loneliness of staying in such a big place alone. She needs to get out and get some air. She exits her room and heads for the elevator. Once she is in the elevator she pushes the button for the lobby. She is lost in her thoughts when the elevator stops on the fourth floor to let someone else in. She is surprised to see that it is Deacon. She wonders how she always seems to end up in the elevator with him. Deacon hesitates when he sees her but decides to step into the elevator anyway. He feels her presence beside him. The tension between them is only increased by what happened earlier.

"This seems to happen a lot," Rayna comments, amused at their chance meeting in an elevator.

Deacon looks at her. He is overwhelmed by her beauty. His mind flashes to the kiss that they had shared in a similar elevator and then to the kiss that they had shared on the plane. The memories cloud his mind. He can no longer think clearly. Why does he even care if she lied to him? Why does it matter if she hurt him when she is standing here next to him, looking so beautiful? Deacon turns to her. While he is looking at her, he realizes that he can't deny his love for her. He can't contain his desire. He moves closer to her. She looks at him in surprise.

"Deacon, what are you doing?" she asks as he approaches.

"Will you just stand still?" he requests as he reaches for her.

He puts his hand on the back of her head and pulls her toward him. When their lips meet, they can both feel the electricity. Rayna opens her mouth for him and Deacon kisses her more deeply. The kiss is full of every ounce of passion that they have suppressed since they have been apart. They are burning for each other.

They break apart when the elevator dings. Both of them are out of breath.

"Should we talk about all of this?" Rayna asks him as they walk out of the elevator.

Now that they are out of the elevator, Deacon's head clears. He remembers the pain. He remembers that he is not ready to forgive her yet.

"It doesn't change anything, Ray," he says sadly as he walks away.

Rayna is rooted to the spot. She cannot move. Her heart is in pieces and Deacon is the only one who can help her put it back together.


	10. Chapter 10

Rayna paces back and forth in her dressing room. Ever since she left the elevator with Deacon, things have been awkward between them. He avoids making eye contact with her whenever they run into each other in the halls. He doesn't look up when she enters the room. He pretends to be busy with work whenever she walks closer to him. They haven't talked about their situation at all. They haven't even said one word to each other.

In return, Rayna is doing her best to ignore Deacon. His behavior is irritating and confusing. She is trying not to let it influence her or her work. She is trying not to think about him. The difficult task of keeping Deacon out of her thoughts is made easier for her when Liam arrives for the show. Liam greets her happily and sweeps her away into a playful conversation, as if it is his mission to cheer her up.

Even though he is not Deacon, Rayna appreciates the fact that Liam can make her laugh. Liam has the ability to distract her, at least momentarily, from Deacon. She needs to relieve some stress before her show, so she allows herself to be swept away in the fluidity of the conversation with Liam. They walk out into the hall as they talk. He flirts with her and she flirts back. Rayna doesn't see any harm in having a good time. She leans into him as she laughs at his jokes and touches his shoulder softly when she smiles. She notices Deacon staring at them from the corner. This is the first time that she has seen him looking at her since their most recent kiss. He doesn't look happy at all. In fact, he looks pissed. The look on his face is tense and his fists are clenched tightly. Her heart aches for him. She wants to comfort him but she knows that there is nothing she can do for him when he won't even talk to her.

"You ready for tonight?" Liam asks, not bothering to keep his voice down.

Rayna can hear the double meaning in his question. She laughs at what he is implying. She thinks Liam is an attractive man but after being with Deacon again, she knows that there is no one else that she wants to be with. She knows that it doesn't feel right with anyone but Deacon.

"I'm ready for the show," she says simply.

He looks at her seductively.

"What about the after party?" he questions suggestively.

Rayna laughs. Liam is always up for a good time.

"I don't know about you but I'm gonna need my beauty sleep as soon as we get done here. I haven't slept in days," she responds.

It is the truth. Unfortunately, she knows that no matter how early she tries to go to bed, she will not get a good night's sleep. She has not been sleeping well since the night that she revealed to Deacon that Maddie is his daughter. She stays up worrying and replaying every word in her head.

"You can sleep when you're dead," he tells her. "Tonight we live."

She likes that Liam is so spontaneous. It is a nice change from her hectic schedule. Being around him is refreshing but it would never be completely satisfying for her.

"I'll tell you what, I'll think about it but I'm not making any promises," she responds.

Liam takes her answer as a challenge.

"Don't worry. I can convince you," he says confidently.

She laughs loudly.

"We'll see about that," she replies.

He grabs her arm and leads her back in the direction of her dressing room.

"Where are you taking me?" she asks.

"I'm going to convince you," he responds.

She shakes her head at him but allows him to lead her into the room.

Deacon has witnessed the entire exchange. He doesn't want to think about whatever it is that Liam is doing to convince Rayna. He feels angry: angry with himself for letting this happen, angry with Liam for trying to take his place, and angry with Rayna for going along with it. He can't believe that she is moving on so easily. He can't believe how quickly everything has changed.

"So how exactly are you going to convince me?" Rayna asks Liam curiously.

She watches him as he reaches into his pocket and pulls out two cards.

"With these," he says, showing them to her.

"What exactly are those?" she questions.

"These are two VIP passes to the hottest party in town," he replies. "It's going to be wild and it's going to be fun and we're going to be there."

She laughs. She has never been one to enjoy that type of event. In her younger days, she used to frequent quiet bars with Deacon. They had never really gone to many clubs or wild parties. They didn't need too. Being together, in a quiet atmosphere, was enough for them. Now, she prefers to drink at home. Usually, she drinks a glass of wine or two while she relaxes before bed. Once in awhile, when she is writing a song or feeling particularly nostalgic, she pulls out the whiskey. It reminds her of the past. It reminds her of the days she spent in small hotel rooms, writing songs and making love with Deacon.

"I don't think so," Rayna answers.

She has no interest in attending the party with him.

"When was the last time you went to one of these things?" he asks her, trying to change her mind.

"Never," she responds.

Well, she had actually been to one once. She had gone with Deacon. They wanted to try something different but their night out turned into a night in, pretty quickly. After a few drinks, Deacon had done his best to convince her that they should return to the hotel room. It wasn't hard for him to convince her. A few passionate kisses and seductive whispers later, she was happily following him out of the club and back to the room, where they spent the night creating their own excitement.

"Well then it's perfect. You need to loosen up. You're always so tense," he tells her.

"It's just not really my scene. Why don't you take someone else?" she suggests.

"I want to take you," he says simply.

She sighs. She may not be in a romantic relationship with Deacon right now but she isn't ready to put herself into this kind of situation with another man. She is still hoping that Deacon will come around.

"Listen, I just really can't tonight. I'm sorry," she replies.

"That's fine but you're really gonna be missing out," he says, making one last attempt to convince her.

She laughs and leads him out of her dressing room. They continue their conversation just outside the door.

"Why don't you go get ready for the show and I'll see you in about an hour?" she suggests.

He nods at her suggestion and turns away from her with a smirk on his face. Rayna stares after him, shaking her head, laughing softly.

Deacon sees the interaction. He takes the smirk on Liam's face to mean that he has successfully convinced Rayna to join him for the after party. The anger bubbles inside him. How could Rayna even think about making plans with another man, after the kisses that they had shared the day before? Deacon decides to confront her about it.

"Hey," he calls, his voice pulling her from her thoughts.

She looks up in surprise. She had not seen him walking over to her. She sees the look of determination on his face and wonders what he is planning.

"Hey, what's up?" she asks.

Her heart beats rapidly. He is finally talking to her. She hopes that he has come to his senses.

"So you're going out with Liam tonight?" he asks, trying to sound casual.

He sounds anything but casual. In actuality, he sounds extremely jealous. Rayna looks at him in disbelief. She can't believe that he has finally approached her just to talk about Liam.

"I'm not planning on it," she replies.

"Oh. It looked like y'all were getting pretty close," he answers, pushing her, hoping to gain more information.

"He's just a friend, Deacon," she tells him.

She is getting annoyed. Why does Deacon think that he can act this way? He has ignored her since yesterday but now that he sees her talking with Liam, he thinks that he has the right to question her about it. Rayna thinks that he is being unfair. He is sending her mixed signals and expecting her to abstain from even attempting to have any fun while she waits for him.

"If you say so, Ray," he replies, unconvinced.

"You know what, Deacon, if you're so jealous of Liam then maybe you should do something about it," she says angrily before storming back into her dressing room.

Deacon is left standing outside the door with his mouth hanging open. He is surprised by her outburst. He feels guilty for crossing the line. He knows that he is not being fair to Rayna. He decides that he needs to apologize. He doesn't bother to knock. He opens the door to her dressing room and walks right in.

"Deacon, what do you think you are doing? Why didn't you knock? What if I was changing?" she asks loudly.

Her anger is beginning to erupt. The look on her face is a dangerous one.

"I've seen you naked plenty of times before," he responds.

He quickly wishes that he had not brought it up. Thoughts of her lying on the couch beneath him, naked, fill his mind.

She looks at him closely. He can see that she is very annoyed with him.

"Listen, Ray, I just came to apologize. I was out of line with what I said before and I'm sorry. You can go out with Liam if you want to go out with Liam. I know that it isn't my place to stop you," he says, his voice dropping to convey his sincerity.

Her face softens. She appreciates his apology.

"Thank you, Deacon, but I don't want to go out with Liam," she replies honestly.

He looks suddenly happier. He is glad that she doesn't want to go out with Liam. He doesn't like to see her with Liam at all.

"Okay, good," he responds.

He looks around and, once again, he realizes that he is alone with her in her dressing room. He takes a deep breath, willing himself to think of anything but the beautiful woman standing in front of him.

"We should talk about everything," Rayna tells him.

He looks down, avoiding her gaze. He isn't ready to talk about everything yet. If they are going to talk, they are going to need to find a safer place, a place where he won't be so tempted to get caught up in the moment.

"I can't right now, Ray," he says.

"Deacon, you can't avoid it forever. You can't avoid me forever," she replies.

Deacon knows that she is right but he isn't ready to talk.

"I know. I just want to wait to talk to you. I need to forgive you first," he responds.

Rayna sighs. Once again, she wishes that she had taken a different path and that she had told him from the beginning. Maybe they would have been able to have a happy life together as a family.

"How are you going to forgive me if we don't ever talk about it?" she questions.

"I don't know. I just need time," he answers.

She takes a deep breath. She wonders how much more time he could possibly need. She thinks that they will be better off if they talk about it but she wants to respect his wishes.

"Fine but I'm here to talk whenever you're ready," she assures him.

She gives up, feeling slightly defeated. She hopes that he will come talk to her soon. She wants him to forgive her for her mistake.

"I know. Good luck tonight, Ray. I know you'll blow them out of the water like always," he says.

He walks forward and kisses her on the cheek. He lingers for a second longer than necessary. He pulls himself away from her and leaves the room.

She touches her cheek softly. She can still feel where his lips had been just moments before. She wishes he would have stayed longer but she is happy that he even came to talk at all. She turns around and faces the mirror, forcing herself to focus on getting ready for her show.


	11. Chapter 11

Deacon sits in a corner of the hotel lobby, frantically scribbling on a piece of paper. He needs to get his feelings out. He feels like they are eating him alive. Once again, he is writing a song about Rayna. Over the years, his songs about her have been filled with love, regret, longing, passion, and desire. This one expresses his confusion. His heart is being pulled in two directions. On one side, he feels the full force of his anger. On the other, he feels the full force of his love. Writing down his feelings in the form of a song, usually helps him to sort his emotions out. This time, the words that come to his mind don't tell him anything that he doesn't already know. He crumples the piece of paper into a ball in frustration and throws it to the side.

When he looks up he sees Rayna emerge from the elevator. He watches her as she walks over to Liam. He sees them smile at each other. He watches her kiss Liam on the cheek. He groans in frustration. He worries that he will lose her forever if he doesn't act soon but he is unsure of what his next move will be. He needs to talk to her about everything before they even think about getting back together. Watching Rayna with Liam helps Deacon to make up his mind. He will make his next move as soon as he can.

He sees Liam signaling to the bartender and knows that he is trying to order Rayna a drink. Deacon doesn't like the idea of Rayna drinking with Liam. He knows how easily she lets her guard down when she has had a few drinks. The thought encourages Deacon to take action. He is not going to waste any more time. He is not going to give Liam the chance to seduce her. He is going to talk to her right now. Deacon gets up quickly and walks over to them.

"Hey, Ray. Can I talk to you for a second?" he asks.

She turns around and looks at him. After a second, she nods her head in agreement. Deacon sees the look of disappointment on Liam's face and feels momentarily triumphant. He leads her away from the bar until they reach a semi-secluded table in the back of the room.

"What do you want to talk about?" Rayna questions him.

Deacon takes a deep breath. He needs to do this if they are going to have any chance at all. He wants to do this so that they can figure out a way to move forward.

"I want to talk about Maddie," he says.

Rayna nods in understanding. She is relieved that he is finally ready to talk but she is nervous that the talk will not go well. She hopes that she can help him to understand everything about the situation in a way that will not upset him.

"What about Maddie?" Rayna asks.

Deacon tries to gather his thoughts. He wants this to be a rational discussion. He wants to hear her out without being overcome by his emotions. He needs to know the whole story before he decides if he can forgive her.

"I guess we should start at the beginning. I don't agree with it but I understand why you didn't tell me when I was in rehab. I know that I was different back then. The thing that I really don't understand is that you never told me after I got sober. Why did you never tell me, Rayna?" he asks her, his voice remaining level.

She takes a minute to think about it. She wants to make sure that she is completely honest with him.

"When Teddy and I talked about it, we decided that it would be best for Maddie if we didn't tell you. But if I'm honest, that isn't why I didn't say anything. I never stopped loving you. I never stopped worrying about you. I was afraid that telling you the truth would send you back to that dark place. You didn't get sober until I left and I was worried that I was the reason that you had never been able to stay sober in the past. I didn't want to hurt you any more than I already had. I didn't want to get in your way. All I wanted was for you to be happy and I was willing to do anything to make sure that you weren't tempted to fall back into your old habits," she responds.

Her words wash over him. He takes them in. He can tell that she is being honest with him. Knowing her reasoning helps but he still wants to know more.

"Okay," he says calmly. "Would you have ever told me if I hadn't asked about it?"

She has thought about this a lot over the past few days and she knows her answer.

"Yes," she replies quickly. "I would have waited a little longer but I would have told you. I wanted to tell you but I wanted to wait until a better time."

Deacon is relieved by her answer. He is glad that she hadn't intended to hide it from him forever.

"Does Maddie know?" he questions curiously.

"I told her on your birthday, after your party," she tells him.

"What was her reaction?" he asks.

"She was very confused at first but after talking for a while, she really opened up to it. She wants to spend some more time with you now that she knows. She wants to get to know you as more than just her mother's old guitar player," Rayna explains.

Deacon takes in the new information. The thought of spending time with Maddie makes him happy. He wants to bond with her now that he knows that she is actually his daughter. He has always fantasized about having children with Rayna but now it is a reality. Despite his anger at being lied to, the thought of having a child with Rayna makes him happy. She is the mother of his daughter. Rayna Jaymes, the woman he loves more than anything, is the mother of his child. He lets a smile light up his face for the first time in days.

"Are you gonna let me spend time with her?" he asks her.

"Of course I will, Deacon. You're her father. You deserve it. Honestly, I would love it if you spent time with her," she replies.

Deacon is glad to hear it. He wants Rayna to be supportive of him getting to know Maddie better. Talking with Rayna is really starting to ease his mind. He feels a glimmer of hope in his heart. He finally feels like they will actually be able to fix everything between them.

"What about Teddy?" Deacon wonders aloud.

He is worried that Teddy will be an obstacle. He knows that Teddy has always hated him.

"Teddy still wants to be in her life but I have made it clear to him that you will be allowed to spend time with her if you want to. He isn't happy about the situation but he has agreed that you deserve a chance to get to know her better," Rayna answers.

Rayna is happy with how the conversation is going. She likes that Deacon really seems to be trying to understand. She can tell that he is willing to work on everything. He is being rational and approaching the conversation in a positive way. She is proud of him for how far he has come. He has become the good man that she has always known he had the potential to be.

"And what about you? How do you feel?" he asks.

She takes a deep breath and wonders how she should respond to his question.

"I feel like this can be a really good thing if we let it," she responds.

"How do you feel about me, Ray? How do you feel about us?" he clarifies.

She looks into his eyes. She doesn't want to put herself out there if he is going to reject her.

"You already know how I feel, Deacon," she says.

"I'd like to hear you say it," he tells her.

Rayna sighs. She wants to tell him but she is hesitant.

"I… uh… I want to fix things between us. I want to move forward," she replies.

Deacon nods. His facial expression is unchanging. He thinks everything over in his mind. He appreciates that she is being honest with him. He likes what he hears. He is now more confident that they can work things out. The conversation has helped a lot.

"I want that too, Ray," he says after a moment.

Rayna smiles. Relief washes over her. She feels like they are finally heading in the right direction.

"So where do we go from here?" she asks him.

He pauses. He hasn't really thought about the next step. He knows that he loves her and he knows that he wants to be with her but he wants to be sure that it will last this time before they get back together.

"Listen, Ray, there are a few things that I'm gonna need from you if we are gonna try this again," he says.

She looks at him expectantly.

"I'm gonna need you to be completely honest with me. No more lies, no more secrets. I need to be able to trust you," he tells her.

"I promise," she assures him.

Deacon nods. He sees the sincerity in her eyes. Despite everything, he knows that he can trust her.

"I also need to know that you're in this thing for real. I need to know that this is it for you. I can't take any more heart break, Ray," he says.

"I'm in it a hundred percent, Deacon. No one will ever love you like I do," she promises.

"I love you too, Ray. You're the only woman I've ever loved," he replies. "Even so, I think we should take the night to think about it. We need to make sure this time."

"Okay, Deacon. On one condition," she responds.

He looks at her curiously.

"What condition?" he asks.

"I want a good night kiss," she tells him.

He smiles at her.

"Are you trying to kill me, Rayna Jaymes?" he jokes.

"No, I just want to give you something to dream about tonight," she replies flirtatiously.

He doesn't need her to convince him. He leans across the table and captures her lips with his. She traces his lips with her tongue, begging for entrance. He opens his mouth, deepening the kiss. They kiss each other passionately, getting lost in the moment. Deacon groans when Rayna bites his lip playfully. He responds by pulling her closer to him and caressing her head with his hands. Rayna wraps her arms around his neck, trying to keep him close. A loud noise from across the room interrupts their kiss.

They look up and see Liam sulking as he walks towards the elevator. Deacon laughs happily.

"I guess he was hoping that you would spend your evening with him," he says.

Rayna smiles softly at Deacon.

"There's only one man that I want to spend my evening with," she tells him.

He kisses her softly in response.

"Let me walk you to your room," he requests, holding out his hand to her.

She takes his hand and stands up.

"Are you gonna keep me company?" she asks hopefully.

"Not tonight, Ray. We need to think about everything now that we have talked about it. We'll talk again tomorrow and decide where to go from there," he replies.

"Fine. Let's go," she says.

When Deacon drops her off at her door, he gives her one last kiss before turning to leave. She walks into her room and falls on her bed. She smiles to herself, thinking about the kisses that they had shared. Overall, the night had been extremely productive. She is happy that they are finally getting back on track. She already knows that she wants to move forward with Deacon without even thinking about it. She only hopes that Deacon feels the same way.


	12. Chapter 12

When Deacon drops Rayna off, he decides that he needs to get some air before going back to his own room for the night. He makes his way back down to the lobby and exits the hotel. He doesn't know where he is going but he doesn't care. He needs to think everything over in his head. As he wanders down the street he is hit with many memories.

He remembers their first kiss. He had been trying to do things the right way. He could already tell that she was special. He waited two weeks before he finally decided to take the plunge and kiss her. She had responded eagerly, pulling him close, moaning as he slipped his tongue into her mouth. He remembers how his heart soared afterwards when he saw the huge smile on her face.

He remembers their first date. He wasn't usually the type of guy that took girls on real dates but she was different. He planned the whole thing out, made reservations and everything, but on the way to the restaurant his truck had broken down. He was initially pissed at his bad luck but when she told him that she wanted to lay in the bed of the truck and look at the stars, he realized that it might actually be good luck. At the time, it had been the most romantic thing he had ever done. He remembers the way the moonlight illuminated her face. She was truly a thing of beauty. He couldn't stop himself from kissing her softly at the sight. They had stayed out until dawn. He remembers how angry Lamar had been when they finally got back to her house.

He remembers the first time they made love. He remembers how they couldn't keep their hands off of each other. He tried to slow himself down and enjoy the moment but he couldn't contain his desire for her. He remembers how she looked lying beneath him, a look of pure pleasure on her face. He remembers the way that she called his name and clung to him. When he looked into her eyes afterwards, he realized the real difference between a quick fuck and actually making love. He realized that the difference for him was Rayna. Afterwards, they had written their first love song together. It was their first chart-topping hit. He remembers how exciting it was to hear it on the radio every time they got into the car. Each time, it reminded them of the night they had spent together and they would smile at each other happily.

He remembers their first fight. He doesn't remember what it had been about but he remembers how fiery she looked as she yelled at him. He remembers how she had stormed out of his house, only to return ten minutes later to apologize. When she returned to the house, she didn't waste any time. She kissed him passionately as he held her tight. She kissed him with everything she had. They didn't make it to the bedroom but they didn't care. They made up right there on the floor of his living room.

He remembers the first time he told her he loved her. There were no candles or romantic gestures. He had simply looked at her, eating breakfast across from him and wearing only his t-shirt, and it had slipped out. He had been thinking it for weeks but he didn't want to ruin anything or freak her out. She had simply smiled at him and told him that she loved him too. Unable to contain his excitement, he placed her on the kitchen counter and proceeded to show her exactly how much he loved her.

There had been many other good times in between but there had also been many bad times. Vince's death had changed everything for him. His drinking spiraled out of control and it brought his relationship with it. Rayna tried to stick it out but he was too far gone. The day that he found out she was leaving him was one of the worst days of his life. Then when he read about her wedding in the newspaper, he realized just how badly he had messed up. He had lost the only woman he had ever loved. He had lost the only thing that could make him truly happy in this world.

Looking back on everything, Deacon knows what he has to do. He has spent the past 14 years of his life wishing to be with her. His biggest regret is letting her slip away. He can't let it happen again. He can't lose her forever when he is so close to finally having everything that he has ever wanted. He needs to tell her.

Deacon walks back to the hotel. He looks at his watch and sees that it is already one in the morning. He doesn't want to spend another night without her but he doesn't want to disturb her if she is sleeping. He decides to send her a text.

_You awake?_

He waits anxiously for a response. When he is in the elevator, his phone vibrates. It is a message from Rayna. His heart pounds rapidly as he opens the text.

_Yeah, why?_

He doesn't bother to reply. Instead, he pushes the button for the penthouse. When the elevator reaches her floor, he walks quickly to her door and knocks. A moment later, she opens the door. She is wearing her pajamas and her hair is up in a ponytail. She looks just as beautiful as she did the first time that he saw her.

"Deacon? What are you doing here?" she asks.

"I couldn't wait any longer, Ray. I'm ready. I forgive you. I want to be with you," he tells her quickly.

He sees her face light up as she smiles broadly. She grabs his wrist and pulls him into her room. She kisses him passionately.

"You couldn't wait any longer, huh?" she asks with a mischievous look on her face.

Deacon shakes his head and captures her lips with his. He kisses her softly on her neck and then on her shoulder.

"I need you," he says desperately.

She kisses him eagerly. Deacon sees the desire in her eyes. He sees her face flush. He knows that she needs him too.

"I want you," she replies.

She looks at him invitingly. She wants to feel his skin. She wants to feel his body against hers.

He leans down and kisses her deeply. She breaks the kiss as she pulls his shirt over his head. She runs her hands over his bare chest. She pulls his head down and kisses him. His hands make their way under her shirt. He slides them up to caress her breasts. She sighs at the contact.

"Ray," he breathes.

She is beautiful. Every sound she makes heightens his desire for her.

Deacon pulls her pajama shirt over her head and leans down to unhook her bra. He kisses her breasts tenderly. She reaches down and undoes his belt, helping him step out of his pants. In response, he helps her to remove her pajama bottoms. He pulls her hips against his and Rayna grinds into him, feeling his desire for her. She moans in anticipation.

"Deacon, I want you now," she tells him.

He doesn't waste any time. They fall down on the bed together. Deacon kisses her softly and removes the final layers of clothing that are keeping them apart.


	13. Chapter 13

"Deacon," Rayna whispers frantically, tapping him on his shoulder.

He is sleeping soundly and doesn't respond.

"Deacon," she tries again, raising her voice a little.

He mumbles something sleepily.

"Deacon," she says loudly.

Her voice finally pulls him from his sleep. He opens his eyes and searches the darkness for her face. When he finds her eyes, he instantly becomes worried about her. He knows that she is not waking him up for a little nighttime fun like she has done in the past. He can tell that something is wrong.

"What is it, Ray?" he asks, his eyes full of worry.

He sees her eyes begin to water and her lips begin to tremble. It kills him to see her so upset. He reaches out to her and rubs her back soothingly, pulling her into him.

"What's wrong, Ray? Tell me so I can help you," he tries.

"It's Maddie," she tells him.

Deacon feels like his heart has stopped. What could possibly be wrong with Maddie? Horrible images begin running through his mind. Rayna looks at him sadly but he can also see the sympathy in her eyes. She knows that this is his first time hearing news about Maddie, now that he knows she is his daughter. She knows the feeling of terror that he must be experiencing for the first time.

"Teddy called and said he had to take her to the hospital. Apparently, she woke him up in the middle of the night and told him she wasn't feeling well. She said she was dizzy and nauseous, so he went to go get her some medicine. When he came back, she was unconscious," Rayna explains through the tears.

Deacon feels like he has never been this worried before in his life. His daughter is in the hospital. The only other time he remembers being extremely worried like this was when he had to take Rayna to the hospital, years ago, for a concussion, after she hit her head at a show. He wouldn't let her do anything but lie in bed with the lights off for two weeks. Right now, Deacon feels like he is a million times more worried than he was on that occasion. On top of being worried about Maddie, he is also worried about Rayna. He loves them both so much that he can't imagine what he would do if anything happened to them. He knows that this is just as hard on Rayna as it is on him and it makes him wish that he could protect her from the pain.

"Oh, Ray. Do they know what's wrong with her?" Deacon asks in concern.

Rayna shakes her head slowly, her lips trembling. Deacon reaches forward and wipes the tears off of her face. He leans forward and kisses her lips gently.

"They don't know for sure," she says.

Deacon suddenly gets up and starts searching for his phone. Rayna looks at him in confusion.

"What are you doing?" she asks.

When he turns around, Rayna almost laughs at the look on his face. She probably would have laughed if the situation wasn't so serious. She has never seen him behave like this. She has never seen him react to something so strongly. She sees how frantic and worried he is and, if it's possible, she feels like it makes her love him even more. Even though he just found out that Maddie is his daughter, Deacon is already an amazing father.

"I'm trying to find my phone. I'm gonna get us a flight back to Nashville. We need to be there with her," he answers quickly.

Rayna feels so thankful that Deacon is taking charge in this situation. Her worried mind hadn't even thought of the need for calling to make arrangements yet.

"Thank you, Deacon," Rayna says, feeling relieved that he is there to help her.

Deacon stops his search momentarily to give Rayna a soft kiss. Rayna holds on to his head tightly, as if she is afraid that something will happen to him too if she lets go.

"It's what I'm here for, Ray," he responds.

She watches him closely as he places a call to Bucky. He arranges for the plane to be ready as soon as possible. She has never seen this side of Deacon before. She has never seen him fly into worried father mode. She thinks of Teddy and how he usually reacts. He usually lets her take charge and doesn't worry about her needs in the midst of a crisis. Deacon is doing his best to worry about her even while he worries about Maddie. He is doing his best to take the responsibilities off of Rayna's shoulders so that she doesn't have to worry any more than she already is worrying. For a moment, it makes her regret her choice to leave Deacon even more than she already did. When they were younger, Deacon had a lot of straightening up to do. Regardless of that, he has always been everything that she needs in life. He knows her better than anyone else and still loves her, despite her flaws. Rayna sees Deacon hang up the phone and walk back over to her.

"Bucky said he can have the plane ready in an hour and a half. I'll pack everything up. Why don't you try to get some rest while you still can and I'll wake you up when we need to go? I know that you won't get any sleep once we get to the hospital," Deacon suggests thoughtfully.

"Deacon, you don't have to do everything. I can help," she protests.

He moves closer to her and gives her a soft kiss. He pulls back a little so that he can look into her eyes.

"Listen, Ray, I love you and I want to do this for you. I want to make this easier for you," he tells her.

She reaches up and gives him another kiss.

"I love you too, Deacon," she replies, feeling like she has never meant anything more in her life.

He stays close to her for a moment longer and then walks off to the closet to pack up her stuff. Rayna closes her eyes. She is extremely stressed out about what is happening to Maddie but having Deacon here is making it way better for her. She is so thankful that he is letting her lean on him during this trial. She doesn't know what she would do without him here to help her through.


	14. Chapter 14

Rayna and Deacon have just arrived in Nashville. They are in the car, on their way to the hospital. They are sitting in the back seat, grasping each other's hands firmly. Rayna sighs and rests her head on Deacon's shoulder. He brings his other hand up to stroke her hair softly. She buries her face in his neck as he holds her close. He can feel moisture on his skin and he knows that she is crying.

"How are you doing with all of this?" she asks him, her words muffled by his neck.

Deacon looks at her and she lifts her head to look up at him briefly. He can tell that she is genuinely concerned about him and how he is handling the situation. It is nice to know that they are able to grow closer in a situation like this, rather than let it tear them apart. Deacon knows that it is because of their mutual love and respect for each other. He knows that what they have for each other is true love. He is sure of it and he has been sure of it since the beginning. This hardship reaffirms it in his mind.

"I'm worried about her, Ray. I've never been so worried before," he replies honestly.

Rayna squeezes his hand tightly, letting him know that she is there for him too.

"Me too," she says quietly. "But I'm glad you're here."

Deacon leans down and kisses her softly. He lets his lips linger on hers, keeping her close. She smiles slightly into the kiss. His presence calms her greatly. Their mutual concern for each other gives both of them the strength to cope with everything that is going on.

"Ray, we'll make it through this. Maddie will pull through. When she gets better, we will stay home for a while and spend time with her," he tells her.

He looks confident but she wonders if he is just acting confident for her benefit. Regardless, the words are comforting. She wants them all to spend time together. She wants them to be a family.

"I hope so, Deacon. I really do," she responds.

When they arrive at the hospital, Rayna and Deacon rush out of the car and to the front desk.

"We're here to see Maddie Conrad, what room is she in?" Rayna asks hurriedly.

The nurse recognizes exactly whom she is talking to and gives Rayna a small smile.

"She is in room 207, Miss Jaymes. Just go down that hall right over there," she says pointing to the right.

Rayna nods at her in response.

"Thank you," she says quickly, before grabbing Deacon's hand and hurrying down the hall in the direction that the nurse had pointed to.

They find the room without much difficulty and walk in without hesitation. Maddie is sitting up in the bed. She still looks sick but Rayna is relieved to see that she is conscious. Rayna lets out a deep breath that she didn't know she was holding in and smiles at her daughter lovingly.

"Mom! Deacon! I'm so glad you're here. I was so scared," Maddie says at the sight of them.

Rayna walks over to her daughter's bedside and gives her a hug. Deacon follows closely behind Rayna and reaches out to squeeze Maddie's shoulder tightly. Sensing his hesitation, Maddie reaches her arms out to him and pulls him into a hug. Deacon smiles at the gesture. It is the first hug that they have shared as father and daughter.

"We're here now, baby. You're gonna be okay," Rayna tells her.

Deacon's heart swells with emotion at the sight of Rayna acting motherly toward their daughter. It is a new feeling for him. He has always seen Rayna act motherly towards the girls but now that he knows the truth it is more meaningful to him. They are parents together. Maddie is the product of their love for each other.

The moment is broken up when Teddy enters the room. Teddy looks down when he sees them all interacting like a family. He is clearly upset by the fact that Deacon is at Maddie's bedside. Teddy clears his throat loudly, causing Rayna to jump in surprise since she had not heard him enter the room.

"Teddy," she greets.

She can tell that his old fears about Deacon replacing him are running through his mind.

"Rayna," he replies, pulling himself together and removing his emotions from his face. "I was getting some coffee. Did you two just arrive?"

Rayna nods.

"We came as soon as we could," she replies.

Teddy sees Deacon rubbing Rayna's back lovingly and is hit with a wave of jealousy. He hates Deacon. He hates that Rayna always loved Deacon more than she ever loved him. He hates that they are together now, acting like a happy family. He pushes his feelings to the side, attempting to act civil towards his ex-wife and her lover.

"That's good. Maddie was asking about you all night," he tells her.

Deacon remains silent but continues to keep contact with Rayna so that she doesn't feel alone.

"Have the doctors said anything?" Rayna asks.

Teddy shakes his head.

"They want to run a few tests first. They have some ideas but nothing concrete," he responds.

Rayna nods in understanding. Teddy looks around, feeling uncomfortable.

"I think I'm gonna go see if I can find anything out. Do you want me to grab anything from the vending machine for you?" he asks, wanting to escape but appear in control at the same time.

"No but thank you," Rayna answers.

Teddy turns to leave immediately after hearing her response. Rayna turns back to her daughter who has remained oddly silent.

"Is something wrong, Maddie?" Rayna asks.

Maddie hesitates.

"No… I've just missed you. Dad isn't good at this kind of stuff," she replies.

Rayna knows exactly what she means. Teddy is a great father but he is horrible during emergencies.

"I've missed you too, Maddie," Rayna tells her, reaching out to grab her hand.

Deacon watches the exchange. He wants to cheer them up.

"You know what I was thinking? When you're released from the hospital we should go get some ice cream together, if you're feeling up to it. You, me, and your mother," he suggests.

Maddie and Rayna both smile at him. His heart gushes with pride. These two beautiful girls are his. He feels extremely lucky. He is glad that his suggestion has made them happy for the moment.

"That sounds great! I want to go right now," Maddie replies enthusiastically.

Deacon and Rayna laugh lightly.

"I think you need a little bit more rest first," Rayna tells her.

Maddie seems to take the advice to heart because she falls asleep twenty minutes later. Rayna and Deacon watch their daughter as she sleeps.

"She's beautiful, Ray. Just like you," Deacon says quietly, trying not to wake Maddie.

Rayna smiles at him.

"She looks a lot like you too. Every time I look at her, I see you," Rayna admits.

Deacon kisses Rayna lovingly. Sitting here together, with their daughter, is an amazing feeling, even given the present circumstances. When he pulls back from her, Deacon yawns, clearly exhausted. Rayna laughs softly.

"Why don't you close your eyes and get some rest too? I know you're exhausted," she suggests.

Deacon shakes his head.

"I want to be awake so I can help you," he replies.

"Deacon, you've already helped me so much. Get some sleep. I'll wake you if I need something," she says.

Rayna kisses Deacon softly.

"Seriously, Deacon. You look dead tired," she adds firmly.

"Okay fine," he responds.

Five minutes later, Deacon is sleeping soundly, leaning against Rayna. She watches him, admiring his handsome face. For the millionth time today, she realizes just how lucky she is to have him with her.


	15. Chapter 15

Rayna stands out in the hall outside of her daughter's hospital room. The doctor wants to fill her in on everything, without alarming Maddie. After making sure that the door is completely shut, the doctor turns to Rayna and starts to talk to her about Maddie's condition.

"So when will she be able to go home?" Rayna asks, hoping that they will be able to leave sooner rather than later.

"I'm sorry Miss Jaymes but we'd really like to keep her here for a few more days. She seems to be doing a lot better but since the test results were inconclusive we need to monitor her to make sure everything is back to normal," the doctor explains.

Rayna sighs. She looks through the window at her daughter and sees her smiling brightly at Deacon. They are chatting happily together, enjoying each other's company. She wishes that they didn't have to have these bonding moments in the hospital. She wants them to get a chance to build their relationship as father and daughter in a friendlier environment.

"Okay, thank you," she replies, trying to act grateful towards the doctor.

She is disheartened by the news but she always strives to keep her emotions in check when she is in public. In all honesty, it upsets her that they have been unable to figure out what is wrong with Maddie. Her daughter's health is at stake and she feels like the doctors have failed them. On the bright side, Maddie has not shown any symptoms in over twenty-four hours and she is acting like her old self again. Rayna tries to think optimistically but she is extremely worried. She takes a deep breath, attempting to gather herself together. When she feels like she is ready, Rayna turns and reenters her daughter's hospital room. Deacon and Maddie look up at her and smile brightly. She smiles in return as she walks towards them. She sits in the chair next to Deacon and immediately reaches for his hand, while using her other hand to feel Maddie's forehead in traditional motherly fashion.

"How are you feeling, sweetie?" Rayna asks in concern.

"I'm feeling great, Mom. When are they gonna let me out of here?" she replies.

Rayna tries to appear cheerful as she tells her daughter the news.

"They want to keep you here for a few more days, babe. They want to make sure that you're doin better before they let you go home," she responds.

Her heart aches as she watches her daughter's face fall in disappointment. She wishes that she could do more but she feels like she is helpless in this situation.

"Oh... I want to go home now. I want to spend time with you guys while you have a break from the tour," Maddie says sadly.

"We won't leave your side, sweetheart," Rayna tells her.

Rayna's response seems to calm Maddie slightly because she knows that they have been here for her every minute since they returned to Nashville.

"And maybe when you're feeling better, we can fly you out so you and your sister can spend some time on tour with us," she adds.

Maddie likes the idea. She loves being on tour with her mother and getting a chance to see Juliette Barnes. It is her dream to have her own tour one day and to be a famous musician.

A moment later, Deacon excuses himself, saying that he needs to use the restroom. Rayna watches him as he walks out the door. She doesn't like being away from him at a time like this but she knows that he won't be gone for long. She returns her attention to her daughter, stroking Maddie's hair softly. They sit together in comfortable silence. After about fifteen minutes, Rayna realizes that Deacon still hasn't returned.

"Do ya think Deacon got lost?" she asks her daughter jokingly.

Maddie laughs.

"Maybe he fell in the toilet," Maddie replies.

The two girls are suddenly hit with a fit of the giggles at the thought. When Deacon walks into the room a few minutes later, they burst out laughing again. Deacon smiles. He is happy to see that the girls are enjoying themselves. He loves that they are laughing.

"What's so funny?" he questions.

His question only makes them laugh harder. Deacon shakes his head at them, pretending that he thinks they are being silly. In reality, the sound of their laughter warms his heart. When Rayna finally composes herself, she notices that he has been holding his hands behind his back the whole time he has been in the room.

"What's that you've got behind your back?" she asks him curiously.

"Just a little something I got for my two favorite girls," he replies.

They look at him expectantly, wondering what he is hiding. Deacon smiles as he pulls the gifts out from behind his back. He hands Rayna a Hershey's bar and a beautiful bouquet of flowers and gives Maddie an adorable teddy bear and some chocolates. He loves the way that their faces light up at the gesture.

"Thanks, Deacon! You're the best," Maddie responds enthusiastically.

Deacon is happy that Maddie seems to like her gifts. He knows that she is upset about being in the hospital for so long. He wants to make the experience better for her. He pulls his eyes away from his daughter and turns to look at Rayna. She looks at him with an intense gaze. He sees the gratitude and love in her eyes. He also senses the desire and passion that his gesture has ignited in her. She is so immensely grateful. She doesn't know how to thank him for all he has done during this crisis.

"Thank you, Deacon," Rayna says.

She then stands up and gives him a tight hug. She leans forward so that her mouth is next to his ear.

"I love you so much," she whispers, her voice breaking with emotion.

"I love you too, Ray," he whispers back.

They hold each other for a moment longer and then return to their chairs, focusing their attention on Maddie.


End file.
